


Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken

by EvilQueenRegina2015



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Multi, Pain, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Swan-Mills Family, SwanQueen Fanfiction Facebook Group, Torture, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:31:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16362701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilQueenRegina2015/pseuds/EvilQueenRegina2015
Summary: "I hope you don't mind," he said as he slowly moved his fingers on my calf. "I took the liberty to undress you." "I gave myself…" my voice faded when his hand moved to my thigh and my throat tightened. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and tried again. "I gave myself in Henry's place." TRIGGER WARNINGS INSIDE!





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for RAPE and TORTURE.

I woke up to the sound of silence and it terrified me. 

I’d never liked silence, but Neverland was filled with it. Pockets of silence, in between the sounds of the jungle we were staying in. 

And the rescue party found exactly all of those pockets, no matter how hard I tried to get them to move just a little further. They never listened to me anyway. 

“Why don’t you come and trade yourself for your son? They won’t miss you.” I remember that voice, it still reminded me of Rumpelstiltskin. His voice taunted me, and I glanced around only to find complete darkness around me. 

“Why don’t you show yourself?” I softly called out. I wasn’t sure if they would wake up, and it made me anxious. Would I want them to know I talked to Pan or would I want to start keeping secrets?

“I like it this way.” He chuckled, and it seemed to carry through the pocket of silence. Emma moved beside me, and my heart stopped beating for a moment. “Trade yourself for him and they’ll be safe.”

I knew I had no choice even if the trade didn’t make sense. Why would Pan go through all the trouble to get Henry when he would willingly trade him for me?

“Okay.” I said instead. “Give me some time.” 

“You have an hour.” I could hear him disappear, and shivered when the air warmed up a fraction. Emma moved again next to me, and I tensed as I waited for her to sink back into that deep sleep. 

I slowly got up, keeping an eye on Emma as I did so to make sure she didn’t wake up. It dawned on me that while Pan had been close, I couldn’t have seen her. 

None of them woke up, not even Hook – who kept saying he was a light sleeper – moved. I wondered why Pan had chosen me, when Henry clearly loved Emma more. He had made that clear when he had chosen her over me back in Storybrooke.

But I was still willing to give myself to Pan if that meant saving him. I’d give my life for him. 

Something guided me through the jungle. I couldn’t see, but I knew where to go. I couldn’t hear, but I knew what to listen for. The leaves under my shoes crackled, and that was the only thing I heard as I closed in on Pan’s lair. 

“You look delicious.” 

I turned around, a fireball in my hand. Pan smirked at me as he closed the distance and snuffed out the fire with a wave of his hand. 

“Where’s Henry?” I asked, ignoring the fact that he came even closer. “You proposed a deal...I’m here to accept.” 

“Hmm.” Pan moved around me, and I jerked when his fingers touched my back. “He’s on his way.” 

I spun on my feet and glared at Pan. His face didn’t age, but his soul was ancient and I knew I didn’t stand a chance even with Emma and the Charmings beside me. 

“What is it you’re after?” I asked, trying to ignore his fingers moving up and down my back. He was trying to unnerve me and I wasn’t about to show him that he was succeeding. 

“A tortured soul.” His voice was high with excitement and I shuddered. “Henry came close...in the end. But you…” he hummed as if he’d just tasted the best thing ever. “You are already there, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not broken,” I grunted out as I stepped forward and away from his roaming fingers.

He chuckled, his excitement showing through everything. “No. You’re not broken, because I will get that honor.” 

Before I got the chance to reply, Henry barreled through the clearing. His body slammed into mine and he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Mom!”

I lifted my hands to his head and pressed him closer, his cheek pressed against my chest. “Are you okay?” I asked as I pressed my cheek against the top of his head. 

“Yea, I’m fine,” Henry replied. He pulled back, enough to stare up at me. “Why are you here?” 

I shook my head, not even sure what to tell him. “You have to go find Emma and the others – tell them you need to go.” I tried to push him away, but he tightened his grip around my waist. “Henry, go!” 

“No,” he said vehemently. “I’m not leaving you!” 

“You have to,” I replied through gritted teeth. I reached behind me and grabbed his hands. “Henry, please.” 

“You have one minute.” Pan said with a grin and I glared up at him. What I wanted was to blast him with a fireball, and run with Henry. “Deal, or no deal?” 

I pulled Henry’s arms away from me and he shook his head, his eyes wide. “No, Mom!” 

“Go, tell Emma to leave the island. I’ll be fine.” I gave him a push, and a hand grabbed him. I waved my hand, pushing the hand away. “Don’t touch him.”

“Please, Mom,” he whispered and my heart broke as I looked away. He stood for a moment, and I could feel him watch me but then he exhaled and he turned. “We will get you back.” He called as he ran away and I swallowed thickly around the sudden lump in my throat.

“Are you ready?” Pan appeared in front of me again and his eyes glinted in the moonlight. Excitement bounced from him and I clenched my jaw.

I would give my life for Henry, and Pan knew that. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for RAPE AND TORTURE. 
> 
> This will eventually be a SwanQueen story, building just like every other story. Bear with me?

I woke up to a pounding in my head. 

There was more silence around me and I opened my eyes, only to quickly close them again when the pounding got worse. My stomach roiled and I swallowed a couple of times against the bile that rose in my throat.

I took a breath and tried again, this time biting through the pain and nausea. My vision blurred before it focused and I moved my head to glance around. 

Pan’s lair. No one had ever come out alive, and I knew this when I signed up for it. He had all the power over me he could want. 

I shivered, not only from that realization, but also because I was cold. I moved, but my hands and feet were bound by strong, magical ropes. It tightened around me as I tried to pull my hand free. 

I was naked. That was the reason I was cold. While under normal circumstances I never minded who saw me naked, this felt heavier. I hadn’t chosen to be naked. 

“Oh, thank god you’re awake.” I jerked at the sound of his voice, and whatever I was bound to scraped against my naked back. I gritted my teeth against the discomfort. 

“Hmm.” I didn’t want him to see my pain, or my fear. My heart slammed against my ribs painfully as he moved into view. His face was filled with excitement and the smile made me shudder. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said as he slowly moved his fingers on my calf. “I took the liberty to undress you.”

“I gave myself…” my voice faded when his hand moved to my thigh and my throat tightened. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and tried again. “I gave myself in Henry’s place.” 

“Yes.” He grinned as he leaned over me. His breath was on my face and I opened my eyes to see that he had gotten much closer. “You did.” He moved his hand again, toward my stomach. The muscles there quivered. “I must say, you are extremely flexible.”

For a moment my mind blanked. The smug smile on his face didn’t tell me anything and I closed my eyes again, trying to index any injuries. “What did you do to me?” 

His hand touched the underside of my breast and I gritted my teeth. “Nothing of consequence. Yet.” He chuckled and moved his hand further up. “You did give me your body and soul.” 

I knew it was useless, but struggled against the ropes anyway. They tightened even more and I grunted as they cut into my skin. “You keep your word and stay away from Henry.” 

His hand was around my throat suddenly, and I gasped as he tightened his hand. His eyes sparkled with anger and I wished I could take back my words. “I’m a man of my word,” he grunted out before he pushed, and then let go of me. 

I coughed, my throat burning. “You’re a liar.” I cleared my throat and clenched my jaw. “Stay away from Henry.”

He moved around, his footsteps echoing through the cave. I slowly breathed through my nose, when he abruptly turned and chuckled. “Okay, I’m a man of my word when it suits me.” He moves closer again and my heart sped up at the smug look on his face. “Right now though, I have the Evil Queen in my hands. Why would I back out now?”

“Indeed.” I said softly. “Why would you?” 

I was terrified that he would go back on his promise. He had me where he wanted me, could do whatever he wanted to me. If he wanted he could have Henry back with a snap of his fingers. 

Something told me he was content for now. He was content to have me at his mercy and he would keep his word. For now. 

“I have some...big plans for you.” Pan said and I turned my gaze back to him. His hands were on his back and I blinked. I knew that move – hiding. “It’s going to be interesting to see what it takes to get you to your breaking point. I hope it takes a while.” He smiled dreamily and I swallowed thickly as I turned away. 

“I am as breakable as anyone else.” I said around the lump in my throat and he chuckled. “We made a deal and I intend to keep my word.”

“I certainly hope so.” He moved closer, taking his hands from his back. The knife he held was beautiful, I thought as my eyes focused on it. Even in the dark it seemed to shimmer and I could feel the blood leave my face as his intent seemed to clear up. “Oh,” he chuckled and suddenly, he was standing over me again. “You don’t really have a choice do you? You’re tied up! And even if you weren’t, there’s no way you’re going to get out of here unless I say so.”

I inhaled sharply as the blade of his knife gently pushed against my cheek. My mouth ran dry and I swallowed thickly. He moved the knife over my skin but didn’t break it. 

“I am a woman of my word. I have no intention of fighting you.” I pushed out as tears filled my eyes. I blinked then away quickly but he saw them anyway. 

“No amount of fighting, or screaming, will help you here.” He gestured with his free hand. “You’re in my lair now, and there isn’t anyone here that will help you.”

I grimaced as he made clear my predicament even though I knew it. As long as Henry was safe I could handle anything. A tear slid down my cheek as he pushed the blade against my skin a little harder. 

“Get on with it then.” I gritted out. 

He hummed, and then the blade broke the skin on my cheek and he pulled it away. “Hmm...royal blood.” He licked my cheek, and I jerked. “Tastes the same as mine.” He said with a shrug. A movement had him tense up and I blinked when suddenly, he moved away. “This is going to have to wait...someone is here.”

His footsteps echoed through the cave and I shivered as relief swept over me. A tear slipped down my cheek and another soon followed, burning as it ran over the cut in my cheek. 

Waiting was a form of torture too. It was one I’d used a lot in my time as Evil Queen and he knew just as well as I did. Waiting for torture, was the worst torture. 

I prayed, that I would be able to survive what he was planning to do to me. I wanted to live – I wanted to be able to see Henry grow up. 

I’d never really thought about what would happen to Storybrooke if I didn’t survive, but then again it didn’t matter much if I would be there to be blamed. 

My body shook and shivered as cold seeped into my bones and I gritted my teeth when the ropes tightened even more, drawing blood. 

Pan took his time to return, but I could hear his feet shuffling over the stone. When he came into view, he looked absolutely livid. He grunted something as he moved closer, and he turned his glare toward me.

I wondered for a moment if Emma and the others had gotten to Henry – or the other way around – and had decided that they would rescue me anyway. My heart skipped a beat at that thought. 

“You have more than enough people out there that want to hurt you,” he said as he calculatively touched my body. He squeezed my thigh, then moved up and pushed his fingers into my stomach. “But the only people that want to save you...they are outside. And they brought an archer with them.” Pan chuckled. 

“Snow?” I asked softly, as his hand moved up and squeezed my breast. He hummed and pressed his arousal against my arm. 

“Of course not.” He sounded annoyed and I pressed my lips together. “I’m sure you’ve heard of him...Robin Hood.” 

“Yes.” I gritted out. I’d had a conversation about him earlier with the fairy. Tinkerbell. 

“Wasn’t he your True Love?” He asked. I kept my gaze up to the roof of the cave and he hummed as he pressed into me again, making my skin crawl. “Well, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone now.” I closed my eyes, not really sure how to take his words. I swallowed as his hand moved to my other breast. “A pity really, maybe he could’ve had his way with you.” 

For a long moment he kept touching me, not saying a word. Even though I hadn’t used this particular kind of torture, I knew it drove me crazy that he was touching me in a way that he shouldn’t. I could feel him push his hips into my arm with jerking movements and I couldn’t move away from him. 

“Oh, well.” He grinned at me and I shivered, then grunted as his hand connected with my stomach. “What’s done is done.” 

I swallowed. “Thank god.” 

He huffed and then laughed before he pulled the knife out of his boot. “Let’s get started shall we? We have about a week before I let you go.” 

I opened my eyes and turned to him, my heart slamming into my ribs. “Let me go?” 

“Oh, sure.” He licked his lips as he glanced down her body. “I told you...your friends need to leave the island and they have a week...if they aren’t off the island by then I’ll either kill you or let you go.” 

I blinked against the tears as he chuckled. “Get on with it.” I gritted out when I realized what he was doing. I shouldn’t get my hopes up. 

“I hope you’ll give me a show.” He said as he slowly put the blade on my stomach, putting just enough pressure to make it uncomfortable. “Because I want to enjoy this week with you…”

Suddenly, the knife pressed into my stomach and the surprise made me jerk and scream. Pan grinned as he pressed the point of the blade into my skin. He loved seeing weakness and I was showing him mine. I felt like I was overreacting but I couldn’t stop as the tears slid down my cheeks. 

He dragged the knife, drawing blood as he went and I gasped as he moved up toward my chest. He removed the tip from my skin and then move to the other side, making a similar cut on the other side of my stomach. 

He didn’t cut deep, just enough for me to want to move away from the blade. It was slow and deliberate and he grinned as he looked down at me. 

“Is this the best you can do?” I asked through the pain. I’d recently spent time with a psychopath who had tried to kill me back in Storybrooke – that had hurt a lot more than a knife pressed into my skin. 

He pulled back in surprise. “This is only the beginning.” 

He moved away then and moved out of my sight. My breathing hitched as the cold air moved around me, the blood slowly dripping down my sides. It was hot against my cold skin. 

He returned with a cup, and the grin on his face told me he had something that was going to hurt even more than the cutting. It told me that he enjoyed every single second of this. He licked his finger and dipped it in the cup, and when he put that finger on one of my cuts, it burnt like he just set fire to my skin. 

“No–” I called out but then he narrowed his eyes and pushed something into my mouth. I gagged on the cloth and as I tried to get him to stop, he simple grinned. 

“I know it hurts...but I would like you to have some souvenirs of our time together.” He pressed his finger into the salt again, and then against my skin. I clenched my jaw and gagged around the cloth in my mouth. “It makes me happy, to have people think about me.” I grunted and he smirked. “What did you say?”

He took the gag out of my mouth and I narrows my eyes. “Let me go and I’ll give you a souvenir of our time together.” 

He laughed loud enough to startle me and my body jerked when he slowly tipped the cup and poured salt into my cuts. I moaned against the pain. “I love your spunk.” He three the cup over his shoulder now that it was empty. “You know what?”

“What?” I snapped through the burning pain that moved over my cold body. I wasn’t sure what was going to get me first – hypothermia or Pan. 

“I think I’m going to let you take a moment to rest. Maybe I’ll send someone to tend to your wounds later.” He put just enough pressure on one of the cuts to elicit a moan from me even though I fought to keep it in. 

And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for RAPE and TORTURE. 
> 
> I will update this as fast as I can with the first parts mostly because this has to get into the better (easier) parts soon. Thank you all for bearing with me!

My vision swam when I woke up and bile rose in my throat. It took me a moment to figure out what had changed, because my mind was lagging behind. 

The light in the cave was different, and I glanced around even though my eyes burnt, and my head pounded. 

A movement caught my eye and I squinted to see better. 

“Regina, wake up.” Emma’s voice reached my ears and my body jerked. “Regina, come on, we have to get you out of here.” 

“No.” I rasped out as the blonde Sheriff came into view. It took me a moment to focus on her. “I...you need to keep Henry safe.” 

“Henry is safe, he’s back in Storybrooke.” Emma smiled and something in my head clicked and I realized this wasn’t real. They couldn’t have gotten back home already. 

“That’s not possible.” I grunted out and balled my hands into fists. Anger was ready to take over and I welcomed the feeling, even if that meant reverting back to the woman I’d been, and didn’t ever want to be again. 

Emma stepped closer and her hand cupped my cheek. I swallowed, pushing back whatever feeling I had about being naked with her in the room. “I love you Regina.” 

Even though I was getting angrier with the second, my heart wanted it so badly that a sob escaped my lips. “Don’t do this.” 

Emma chuckled and then she wasn’t Emma anymore and Pan was chuckling at me. “So it’s her.” His eyes narrowed and for a moment they looked just like hers. 

“It’s not.” I shook my head. “There’s no one that holds my heart.” It was true, technically. 

He huffed and pushed his hand into my chest, finding my heart. I swallowed the scream and locked my eyes with his as he squeezed, robbing me of my breath. 

“Didn’t your mother teach you?” Pan asked with a smug smile, and coughed when he pulled. Then it was my turn to smile, because he pulled, and pulled and couldn’t get it out. 

“Of course she did,” I gasped as he pulled again. “It’s protected, you won’t get it out no matter how hard you pull.” 

He squeezed again and I closed my eyes. A tear slipped out, the pain in my chest overwhelming. He pulled his hand back then and hummed as he turned on his heels. 

“That...can be very useful.” He smirked and my heart skipped a beat. “Earlier...I realized that even though this body is still very young...it reacted very well to what I wanted.” He cupped himself through his leather pants and involuntary my eyes followed the movement. 

“You can’t be serious.” I looked back up at his face as he lifted a brow. I shuddered at the thought but I did give him free rein. “No.” I shook my head as my chest tightened. “You don’t have to go that far.”

“Are you going to back out?” He asked with a pout and I pursed my lips as I shook my head. A tear slipped down my face as my mind brought me back to my marriage to the king. 

“No.” I replied as I closed my eyes. 

“Then open your eyes.” He grunted out and I shook my head again but opened my eyes anyway, knowing he could get to Henry. “Good girl.” He stepped back. “Watch me...never let me out of your sight.” 

He slowly took off his shirt, and I did everything in my power not to look away. He was young but his body was filled with scars. They crossed his chest and arms and I gritted my teeth as I tried to keep in mind that he  _ wasn’t  _ young. 

“Are...are they off the island yet?” I asked as everything started to hurt from the tension in my body. I wanted to fight, to tell him not to do it, but I wouldn’t want to break out deal.

“No,” he replied quickly. “Robin Hood is still trying to find a way in.” He threw his shirt away and started pushing down his pants. “Too bad I can’t use him to enjoy you.” 

Robin had never really done anything for me. I still thought the pixie dust was wrong as my heart would never belong to him, as his heart would never belong to me.

I focused on Pan even though I didn’t really see him. I’d been trained, to look at someone and not see them. I’d trained my mind to zone out in a way when the king came to my room and though it had been a while, I still knew how to do so. 

“You wouldn’t be able to make him hurt me,” I said after a while, my voice flat as I watched his silhouette move. It made me realize that the light had changed again. 

“I know.” Pan chuckled as he kicked away his pants and then he moved toward me. “But I have a really strong feeling I will enjoy this more than anything I plan to do to you.” 

I swallowed hard as he moved over my body and he chuckled when I shivered. No words were necessary as he rubbed a hand up my thigh and then he was between my legs, his fingers prodding me. 

I grunted out, my frustration at my inability to move making me short of breath and I gasped as he pushed three fingers into me. “No!” He pulled them out of me in surprise.

And then he slapped me. “Fucking hell, Regina.” I closed my eyes against his anger and he slapped me again. “Open your fucking eyes and watch me as I fuck you!” 

He wrapped a hand around my throat and put pressure on it, just enough to make me gasp again. My vision blurred when I opened my eyes and I looked up at him as he positioned himself on top of me.

He held his hand on my throat as he used his other hand to position himself in front of my entrance and then he grinned down at me, while the pressure on my throat made the edges of my vision blur. 

My eyes widened when he pushed into me and when he took his hand off my throat, I screamed soundlessly.

* * *

 

My body throbbed with the pain of having been used thoroughly. My legs shook with the tension and the effort it took to keep myself even a little but protected. 

He had come back, multiple times in the past couple of hours, and while at the beginning, I hadn’t been able to zone out, after the second time it had been easy. 

I had felt him move on top of me and had even been able to keep my eyes on his face, but I hadn’t seen him, hadn’t been there with my mind. It’s what I had trained myself to do with the king.

“I think your thigh is a nice...spot. Considering,” Pain broke through my thoughts and I blinked at him. The knife was back and I looked back up at the roof of the cave. “Look. At. Me.” He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. 

He was still naked, his arousal still evident as he moved back and leaned over my thigh. I swallowed thickly as his movement and attention brought mine back to the stickiness between my legs and it made me gag. 

“Go on.” I rasped out, my throat painful. 

He huffed as he before he licked my thigh and I jerked, my legs shaking with the tension. “I think I like the salt. I can always try something else the next time we do this.”

He pushed the tip of the knife into my thigh and dragged a line, and my throat tightened around the scream. The look on his face told me he enjoyed my scream. When he made a similar cut on my other thigh, I moaned as my head spun, even lying down. 

He looked at me then, his eyes black with arousal as he leaned over me. “There will be no next time.” I pushed back as darkness edged over my vision, I didn’t want to miss what he was planning next. Somehow, a moment had passed without me realizing though, because he was smirking down at me and I realized I’d missed something he’d said. “What?” 

“I said...you looked thoroughly fucked and it is very much to my liking to see what that looks like on you.” He laughed and I shuddered. His laugh would haunt me for the rest of my life and a tear slipped down my cheek even when I tried to stop it. 

He poured the salt in the cuts before I had a chance to brace myself, and the scream that bubbled up in my throat came out as a pathetic moan. It took me longer to push down the pain, and I gritted my teeth as I scolded myself for being so weak. 

I could feel the blood dripping down my legs, along with the stickiness of  _ him  _ and I gagged. 

“I think that’s enough for now,” he said as he ran a finger up my side. “I think I will be back sooner than you think.”

“Hmm.” My throat hurt even giving him that response and I closed my eyes. I was exhausted and my body was slowly shutting down. 

“I’ll send someone to help you clean. We don’t want you to die because I salted your cuts instead of treating them.” He moved away then, and I breathed a sigh in relief when he left me alone.

I didn’t know how long I had been alone, I just knew it wasn’t too long because I hadn’t been able to shut down even though I tried really hard. It was a survival instinct to forget everything that was happening, to push it to the back of my mind. 

Footsteps brought me out of my thoughts, and I tensed as a hand touched my shoulder. “My name is Jenna.” 

I opened my eyes and looked up into the face of a ten year old girl, and I breathed heavily as my stomach heaved. “How old are you?” I asked even though I knew she wasn’t going to give me an honest answer.

“I don’t think that’s important,” the girl named Jenna replied and I shook my head. It wasn’t important. “I’m going to untie you. You can’t run, okay?”

“Okay.” I waited until she’d taken off the ropes patiently, but rubbed my raw wrists the moment I could. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Jenna took off the ropes around her ankles. “I need to give you a bath. And Pan ordered something a little less luxurious.” 

Just as she said it, I saw three boys carrying buckets of water. From what I could glean from what Jenna said, it wouldn’t be warm water. 

“As long as I’m clean.” I let her help me off of the stone table Pan had put me on and I moaned when my knees buckled. 

“You’re not weak.” Jenna murmured as she pushed her shoulder under my arm and carried me to the buckets of water. She slowly and gently sat me down on the ground, and kneeled down in front of me. “I’m going to take care of your cuts first.” 

The girl worked on the cuts on my body as best as she could with the ice cold water and the cloths she had gotten from Pan. They were clean, at least and that was all I could ask for. 

“Thank you.” I said when she had cleaned the cuts as best as she could. 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Jenna replied. “This water...you’ll have to clean yourself with it. One bucket I have to keep behind, and dump it over you when you’re done.”

I shrugged and held out my hand. “If you give me something to wash myself with.” She handed me a piece of cloth and I dipped it in the water. I slowly washed myself, my face and my arms, my stomach around the cuts and my legs and feet. I tried to clean the cloth, but the water was dirty. So I had to make do with the dirty water as I washed away the stickiness between my legs. 

Jenna used the other cloths to wrap my cuts. When she was done, I had a wrap around my ribs and stomach where he had first cut me, and one around each thigh. “Thank you.” 

She glanced around and leaned closer to me. “They are still looking for a way in. The blonde woman...Emma?” She asked and I nodded my head, my heart jumping at the mention of the Sheriff. “She’s determined to get to you.” I closed my eyes when my throat closed around the tears that I didn’t want to spill. This girl was giving me hope even when I knew they wouldn’t be able to get me out of here unless Pan wanted it to happen. “Regina,” Jenna murmured. “They  _ will  _ get you out.”

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for RAPE and TORTURE. 
> 
> I have one last chapter that needs trigger warnings, if you like I can add that one too, today. I know this is heavy stuff so tell me what you think.

Whatever had been in the water had knocked me out cold. It had taken me a while to realize that they had cleaned my cuts with water, that was spiked with some sort of drug. 

It took me longer to let it take over my system, as I fought it every step of the way. But Jenna stayed with me until I passed out, and that alone made me want to trust her.

I came to in complete darkness and my body cramped up as I shuddered in the cold. I lay on my side, my head on my hands and my knees pulled up to my chest.

The cuts on my stomach and thighs burnt and I realized that my hair was still damp. My mind was a mess, but at least I was alone. I opened my eyes again, and tried to stretch my legs. I bumped into something hard and cold with my feet. 

I moved, pushing myself up in a sitting position and bumped my head against the top of whatever I was in or under. “Oh, snap. It’s barely big enough for you.” His voice, full of laughter, sounded close and I squinted my eyes in the dark to see if I could see him.

“What did you give me?” I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper. It hurt to talk, and I took a shaking breath. 

“Oh, it was just something to help you sleep,” he said softly. He opened a lock, and then a door and I jerked when his hand touched my knee. “Jenna said you were in a lot of pain.”

“And still you put me in a cage just barely big enough to hold me,” I replied as I kicked out. My foot connected with something and he grunted, then quickly shut the door to the cage again and locked it. 

“Do that again, and you’ll suffer for it.” His voice was tight as he moved away and I chuckled.

“Isn’t that what I’m already doing? Suffering?” 

He laughed, deep and low and it brought shivers to my spine. “You are, but if you’re not careful it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.” A flicker of light caught my eye and I turned toward it. “I have some food for you,” Pan said after a moment. “We don’t want you to starve before I’m done with you.”

“You don’t, but the longer I’m trapped here, the more I’d like to kill you and get it over with.” I grunted as he came back. He carried a lump of bread and a cup of water.

“Oh, really? You want to kill me?” He chuckled as he pushed the bread through the bars. “And how are you going to do that?” He sounded genuinely interested and I wanted to kick him again for sounding so carefree. 

“I’ll figure out a way. Don’t you worry.” I picked up the piece of bread and tore off a piece. As I popped it in my mouth, I prayed to god that it wasn’t filled with anything magical. “Why did you send Jenna?” 

“She’s the only girl here willing to help you,” Pan said with a shrug. “And besides...I’m not that bad of a guy not to want you to be clean after sex.” He moved again and the light flickered in his hand. 

“Hmm.” Was all I could give him. He still held the cup of water in his hand and even though I didn’t want to risk being drugged again, I knew I had to drink something. 

“If you finish your bread…and promise not to kick me again, you will get the water. Hey, I might even feel nice enough to help you walk around.”

I slowly ate the bread. It was making my throat dry and I swallowed thickly. “You have a timeline?” I wanted to get him to talk, I needed to know what he was planning. 

“With you?” He asked. He glanced at me as he moved the flame in his hand. I inclined my head as I swallowed the last piece of bread. “There are some techniques I want to try out. The fact that you are still talking to me tells me you still have the strength to go through a lot.”

“I’ve been tortured before.” I replied. He stood and opened the door. I slowly moved forward, my body protesting against the movement but I pushed through.

“I see.” He held out his hand and I took it, only because if I didn’t I’d have to crawl around. He pulled me up and against him. “Let’s see how long it takes to break you.”

“I might not break before your week is over,” I responded as he handed me the water. I took small sips, enjoying the feel of the cool water in the back of my throat. 

“You will.”

* * *

 

Water filled my mouth and I gasped as I opened my eyes. The water kept pouring over my face and I gagged, coughed and gagged again. I just couldn’t see it coming, didn’t know when it was going to stop.

When it stopped, I gasped for breath. The silence settled over me and all I could hear was my own labored breathing. 

“It’s an interesting way to wake up, isn’t it?” His voice was close and I jerked. “Lungs burning, chest constricting. You can’t breathe because if you do, your lungs fill with water.”

“Hmm.” I coughed again and I could feel the cuts on my stomach pulling, the blood slowly seeping out. “I know torture.” I told him again. 

“It all comes down to…how far I’m willing to go.” He didn’t give me a chance to reply, and started pouring the water over my face again. “There will be more.” He stopped pouring. “But for now,” he said as he moved me – or did he move the table? – into a standing position.

The only thing was, my feet didn’t touch the ground and my weight rested on my arms, my shoulders. “For now?”

“For now you get to rest.” He added. “You will have about an hour...I won’t drug you anymore.” 

“And why is that?” I breathed and Pan chuckled as he moved closer. 

“Because if I keep you drugged…that means I get less time with you. And I want to use my time in the best possible way.”

* * *

 

My shoulders burnt with tension. The table was turned in a way that I couldn’t touch the ground, my shoulders and arms carrying all my weight. No matter what I did or how I moved, I couldn’t take the strain off of my arms. 

“You were in love once,” Pan said from behind me. “You wanted to have his babies...didn’t you?”

My heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes, images of Daniel in my mind. He’d been a simple stable boy, but he had been the love of my life. “Where are you going with this?”

He moved around and faced me. In his hand he had his knife again and I clenched my jaw. “I told you, I want to break you. That means finding out where your heart belongs and then crush it.” He chuckled. “Even if I can’t actually take your heart.”

“Everyone knows the story of how I became the  _ Evil Queen _ . Even you must’ve heard it.” I shivered as cold air moved over my naked body. The bindings on my cuts were damp from the water. “Why do you want me to tell you?”

“Because that’s part of the deal. Body and soul, Regina.”

I closed my eyes. Daniel smiled at me from my memories and I couldn’t help but smile back. “He was what I thought to be the love of my life.” I began. My voice broke, and I knew talking wouldn’t be the best thing. “We were going to run away together, get married.”

“And…” 

“And my mother tore out his heart and crushed it before my eyes,” I responded and sighed. “It drove me to casting the curse...even had me trying to frame Snow for murder.” 

“She told your mother about the stable boy.” Pan moved closer. “Why doesn’t it look like you’re in pain now?” 

I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s been a while.” 

“What about Robin Hood?” 

“Tinkerbell brought me to him with pixie dust, and I didn’t go into the tavern like I said I would. According to Tinkerbell I didn’t only ruin my own chances, but his too.” I frowned then, and puffed out a breath. “It still won’t break my heart talking about all these...so called loves.”

“And what...about Sheriff Swan? She’s the mother of your child.”

I jerked. “What about her?”

“She’s...an interesting woman, isn’t she? The way she is around Henry is cute. And how she treats you…” he whistled. “Isn’t she the first...and the  _ only  _ one to treat you like an actual person?”

I gritted my teeth and blinked against the tears. He was right, Emma was the first to treat me like an actual person. At least after the curse was broken. 

“Yes. She saw me as me, and not as the  _ Evil Queen  _ and I’m still very grateful for that,” I replied. I didn’t want to feel this much. I wanted to block all feelings because that would ensure my survival. 

“Are you able to love?” 

“I…” the question caught me of guard and I didn’t know what to say. Was I capable of love? Could I let someone into my heart, in a way that made me vulnerable? “I love Henry.”

“That’s different and you know it.”

“What do you want me to say, Pan?” I snapped. “I’ve loved before and if I want, I can love again. I chose not to, because it is weakness.” I heard my mother push the words into my brain and I grunted out as I pushed back.

He chuckled, and without warning slammed his fist into my stomach. I felt the air leave my lungs and my body wanted to collapse, only to be stopped by the restraints. My arms twisted painfully and again, without warning he waved his hand and the restraints were gone. I dropped to the ground with a thud. 

“Get back in your cage, you filthy animal.”

* * *

 

I pushed against the sleep, for hours I stared out into the darkness. Pan didn’t come back, and my mind went fuzzy as the time went on. I didn’t know how long I hadn’t slept, at least without drugs in my system to knock me out. 

For a moment I wanted those drugs. They had helped me sleep and if I could just sleep for a couple of hours, I’d be able to survive another day.

My eyelids drooped and I swallowed thickly as I fought the sleep. For a moment it seemed like I was winning, and when I closed my eyes to blink I hummed in frustration when I couldn’t get them to open again.

If I fell asleep, would he come and wake me again? 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter where TRIGGER WARNINGS for RAPE and TORTURE apply!

Pan had a routine which, if it was any other situation, I’d have loved. It told me if another day had moved past. 

He would come in the mornings, and bring me a cup of water and a lump of bread. He would then settle into his routine of torture. 

First, he’d tie me to the table for hours on end, only taking me off when I felt like my arms were going to rip off of my body. How that was even possible, I didn’t know, because I was slowly losing weight. I couldn’t be that heavy. But then again, maybe because my muscles lost their strength. 

Some days he’d hit me, opening the healing cuts on my stomach. He’d send Jenna to me to take care of the cuts, and then he’d turn the table – literally – and have me on my back. 

He’d use my body. That’s what he called it. A thorough fucking. I called it rape. He would come inside me, but also over the cuts on my thighs. Sometimes he’d like to add more cuts before he came all over my legs. He would clean me up afterwards, before he would move on to the next torture technique.

There was always a candle close by. I’d learned to look for it, the only bright spot in the cave at most, especially when the days seemed just as dark as the nights. He would hold the candle above me, my stomach or my arms or my legs, and he’d let the boiling hot wax drip onto my body. It’s how I lost my voice after the second day. It was always without warning.

Sometimes I’d pass out, and he liked to wake me by pouring water over my face, choking me effectively until he was ready to stop. And then he’d do it all over again, and there was nothing I could do to move away. 

At night, he would give me something to drink. He’d give me a lump of bread, and he’d push me into the cage. I would fall asleep the moment that I was sure that he was gone, dreaming of a life that was better than this.

* * *

 

A movement caught my eye and this time, it wasn’t Pan. It was someone else, someone who didn’t want to show themselves. It made me anxious. I didn’t know how many days had passed, and I didn’t know what Pan was waiting for. 

A shadow moved around the cave and I narrowed my eyes trying to see who it was. I didn’t dare call out, because maybe Pan had someone spying on me during the times that he wasn’t there. I’d never noticed because it was always dark, and shadows didn’t move in the dark.

I closed my eyes, thinking it was too early to be up if Pan wasn’t there yet. Shadows moving across the cave shouldn’t even catch my attention. Somewhere close by, something moved. I tensed as I pretended to be asleep.

“Make sure Robin Hood stays away, the bastard can’t come in here and find her.” Pan’s voice drifted into the cave and I opened my eyes as I tried to see what was going on. The shadow was gone. Pan made his presence known by kicking the bars of the cage, and then he kneeled in front of me. “Your friends chose to stick around.”

“Leave them,” I rasped out. “You have me.” My voice broke, and I swallowed dryly. My eyes drooped as I watched him and while I wished I was stronger, I knew he had either already broken me, or he’d put me right on the edge. 

“That I do.” He hummed as he stood to his feet, and handed me the lump of bread and the cup of water through the bars. “Today, I have other issues to deal with. You are in luck, because that means you get the day off.” 

I almost choked on the bread in my mouth and I coughed before I could swallow it. “Hmm.” Was all I gave him as I took a sip of the water. He seemed disappointed, but then shook it off and grinned. 

“Tomorrow...we will add a new part to the routine.” He opened the cage and waved as he did so. I narrowed my eyes at him. “You can come out, at your own risk because the older of my boys are dying to have a taste of you.”

I closed my eyes against the terror that washed over me. He was gone before I could form a reply, I could hear him walk away laughing and I scooted back, sitting at the back of the cage. 

My head was pounding, and my stomach cramped up at the thought of moving out of the cage. He knew exactly what would break me and how close I already was to letting it happen. If it hadn’t already happened. 

I waited, my body tightly rolled into a ball. I heard sounds around me. I didn’t know what they were but I knew it didn’t bode well for me.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, but all of a sudden the sounds got closer and I pushed my back against the back of the cage as a hand reached in. 

“Come on, Regina.” A voice, sounding much like Emma’s, reached my ears and I squinted at the hand as it gestured for me to come.

“Go away.” I rasped and the hand moved away. A tear rolled down my cheek and I bit my lip until I drew blood, my chest tightening. It was just a test, again. 

“I get it.” Movement sounded around me and I shivered in the cool air. I pulled the thin blanket Pan had given me, tightly around me. The fire from the candle startled me and I pushed back even more when the hand came back, and this time I could see the face. “You needed to see me.” 

Emma stared down at me and I bit my lip. “You’re not real.” I kicked out, weakly. The second time caused her – or Pan – to grunt when it connected. 

“Is that really how you want to treat the person who wants to get you out?” Emma said as she frowned at me. “You can do it yourself if you want. We just have to hurry.”

“Why?” I asked as I moved forward a little to look at her. She looked real enough and Pan had been frustrated with me because I hadn’t given him what he wanted.

“Because Hood is trying to keep those boys back, but he can’t do it indefinitely. Come on, I know you’ve been through a lot. I really wish I could give you more time to get used to me and what’s going on, but you need to  _ move _ .” Emma stepped back and slowly, I moved forward. My body protested as I climbed through the opening, and then when I tried to stand up. 

“I…” I didn’t want to admit that I needed help, and I looked up at Emma. On my hands and knees, naked in front of her, and she gasped when she saw whatever she saw of me.

“You okay with me helping you?” Emma held out her hands and I swallowed against the lump as I sat back, my butt on my feet. “You must be cramped up...I’ll help you as much as you want, as much as you need.” 

I held out my hands and then clasped them around hers. She inclined her head and I did too, answering her silent question. She pulled me up, and I stumbled into her, my head spinning. 

She held me for a moment, my body shaking as I tried to tell myself that she was real, and it wasn’t Pan holding me up. “Where is he?”

“Henry? He’s with Hook.” Emma whispered as she glanced around and pulled me even closer even though I didn’t know it was possible. Nausea thickened my throat and I swallowed.

“Charmings?” 

“They are out there distracting Pan.” Emma moved slowly and I followed her, not that I had a choice. She looked down at me and grimaced. “He really isn’t like the stories back home.”

“How…” I coughed and gagged when bile rose in my throat. “Hood?” 

It took her a moment to understand what I was asking, and she moved forward in silence, pulling me with her. I didn’t know the plan, and it didn’t seem like a good one, because they would never let us walk out of Pan’s lair even if he was distracted. 

“Apparently, he heard about an innocent in the caves. I don’t know why he was here though,” Emma said and I could hear the shrug in her voice. “He also knows how to get off the island, even without a bean.”

I stumbled again, and Emma moaned as she moved quickly to catch me as I started to fall. Even though Pan had made me walk around every day, I was weak, and as my stomach roiled I was even weaker. 

“Sick,” I grunted out, and Emma hummed as she helped me move away from her. My stomach heaved and what little breakfast I’d had came out burning. 

Emma held me up until I was done and then she exhaled in relief. “Come on. If you can’t make it I’m going to carry you, but we have to go.” 

We got to the entrance of the lair and Emma did her best to stay alert to any movement. I could see it in her eyes as I looked up at her and my heart skipped a beat when I saw her determination. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

The voice behind us made Emma jerk and I felt myself slip out of her grasp. She turned and dragged me with her before she lowered me down on the damp ground.

“I’m taking back what’s mine,” Emma replied with a grin and then pushed her hands out, knocking the boy back a couple of feet. He stumbled and knocked his head on a boulder, effectively knocking him out. 

“Good job.” I rasped as she helped me up. “Magic?”

“You taught me some,” Emma said and clenched her jaw. “I practiced.” She pulled me into her and wrapped her arm around my waist. “Let’s get you to Henry.” 

“Wait.” My head spun. I wondered for a moment if I’d black out if I moved again. “Dizzy.”

Emma grunted. “I don’t have time for your dizzy.” She lifted me up, and I moaned as the movement made my head spin even more and then the darkness took over, finally giving me the reprieve that I’d been asking for.

* * *

I jerked awake and gritted my teeth against the pain everywhere in my body. I was lying down on something reasonably soft and I kept my eyes closed as I breathed through the pain.

“Hey,” Emma’s voice was soft and I turned my head toward her but didn’t open my eyes. “We’re on the  _ Jolly Roger _ . Henry is on the deck waiting with Hook...David and Snow returned but Hood hasn’t yet.”

I inclined my head and moaned when it pounded at the movement. “Want to try healing?” I asked, wondering where I got the strength.

“I did some,” Emma said with a small smile. “I healed the cut on your cheek. It’s...it was hard.” 

“No magic is easy.” I coughed as I lifted my hand. Emma narrowed her eyes at me but took it anyway and I wondered if she wanted to reject me. “Only if you want.” 

“If I can help you, I would do anything.” Emma seemed surprised at her own answer and I smiled gently. “For Henry.”

“Of course.” I hummed as I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure talking as much as I was doing was smart – my throat felt like it was burning every time I spoke. “Think healing and hold your hand over…” I looked down. “The bruises.”

Emma’s hand glowed in mine, and she moved her other hand over my stomach. The heat coming off of her made me fuzzy, sleepy as she moved her hand over the bruises. Her eyes were focused and I couldn’t help but stare at her. 

She moved over the cuts on my stomach and I could feel the skin closing. They would still scar, magic only sped up the healing. She pushed even move of her magic into me and I felt my eyelids droop as her magic healed me, tired me out all at the same time. 

She was tapping into my magic too, I realized as I thought about healing. I pushed whatever strength I had left and she gasped, her hands becoming even warmer and then a burst of her blue magic pushed into me.

Another burst, and it moved through my arms and my legs. My head spun as if I’d been drinking my apple cider and I blinked when another burst of her magic pushed into me. It warmed me up, and my throat wasn’t so dry anymore.

“Emma.” I croaked out. “Stop, it’s enough.” I stared at her, her determination to heal me clear on her face and as my head spun and darkness settled over me, I pulled my hand out of her grasp just as another burst of magic pushed into me.

And darkness took over.

  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 5

“I was healing her,” Emma’s voice carried over from the other side of the room. I kept my eyes closed, my body heavy with sleep still. “She blacked out because...I think it was an overload of it.”

“What happened?” Robin Hood asked and I felt my heart speed up. “You used magic?” His voice lowered and I shivered when I could practically feel his anger roll off of him. 

“I didn’t have much of a choice – she was really hurt and she needed to be okay.” Emma huffed and I almost smiled. “Now get out. Tell Hook to do whatever he needs to, to get us out of here.” 

There was a moment of silence, and I clenched my jaw before I opened my eyes. I glanced at Emma, her eyes closed and her fingers rubbing at her temple. The bed moved, and Emma swayed and breathed a sigh of relief before she opened her eyes and moved toward me. 

She jerked when she noticed that I was looking at her. 

“Hi.” I rasped. It didn’t hurt to speak anymore, and I closed my eyes for a moment. “Thank you.” When I opened my eyes she smiled at me. 

“We’re on our way home,” she said as she sat down on the bed with me. “Henry is in the other cabin, exhausted but okay.” 

I inhaled sharply. “Good,” I said on the exhale. I struggled for a moment to sit up, and Emma held out her hand to help me. I took it and let her pull me forward. “You know…he used you…”

I didn’t have to say more. The horror I saw swirling in her eyes told me she knew. “That’s why you told me to go away.” She closed her eyes and I slowly moved to sit on the edge of the bed, my shoulder touching hers. Someone, probably Emma had dressed me in sweats and a shirt – probably also hers. She jerked away. 

I swallowed thickly, telling myself that this wasn’t a rejection. “It felt different. I knew he wasn’t you because he was too open.” I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I scooted toward her and touched her shoulder with mine again. “I didn’t tell you this to make you pull away.” 

“Why?” She rasped, and when I looked up I could see tear tracks on her cheeks. “Why would he use me?”

“I think…” I rubbed at my eyes when they started to burn. “I think he wanted to try and use everyone at some point. You were just the first, and because he made a mistake he couldn’t make me believe he was you.” 

“What else did he do to you?”

I shook my head as I moved to stand. My legs were shaky but strong enough to carry me. “It’s not important.” 

Emma stayed seated as I slowly moved around. “Of course it is important. If it’s something you don’t...I get it if you don’t want to talk about it.” 

I blinked against tears and inclined my head before I turned back toward her. “I don’t want to talk about it.” My throat felt tight around the words. “I know it’s something I’m going to have to accept, just not right now.” 

“Okay.” Emma stood to her feet and moved to the door. “If you need anything, I’ll be with Henry. All you’d have to do is knock on the wall next to the bed,” she pointed to the wall with a grin. “Henry was doing that earlier, when you were asleep.”

I moved too fast, in my haste to stop Emma. She was turning around and I stumbled forward on shaky legs. If she hadn’t been standing there I’d have fallen on my face. As it was, she caught me by wrapping her arms around my waist.

“I…” I held my hands on her shoulders as my heart skipped a beat. “I’m sorry.” 

“No problem,” Emma murmured. “How is it that I healed you but you’re still so…” Emma looked down, her eyes widening and I almost laughed. 

I shrugged. “You can’t put food into my stomach. And I still feel the cuts, my body is still adjusting,” I told her gently. Her healing had been focused mostly on the cosmetic parts of it. The cuts were gone, but I could feel them throbbing. The bruises were gone, and the pain in my arms. “You did great for a first time healing.” 

“Why don’t you let me get you some food then?” Emma asked as she tried to understand what I’d just said. I could see it on her face. “Or – you wanted something, didn’t you?”

I pulled back, just enough to be able to look into her eyes. “I need to see Henry.” I breathed and she smiled. 

“Of course,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Come, let’s see if he’s awake. I’ll make sure you get some food too.”

She let go of me slowly, and I swayed on my feet but didn’t fall, and I glanced at her with a proud smile as she opened the door. She grinned back, and then waited until I had passed her before she closed the door. 

“How was he? Was he okay?” I asked as we slowly made our way to the door of Henry’s room. I was lucky that it wasn’t that far away, because my knees buckled under my weight and I was running out of breath faster than I thought was possible. 

“He found us...and made Snow and David see that going would be selfish.” Emma hummed when I frowned. “Yea, they wanted to go regardless because they had what they were here for.” 

“Henry?” I asked and Emma nodded. “What did he say?” 

I tried my best to not think about the fact that they had wanted to leave me behind. I had deserved that, even if it hurt. I had been relentless in chasing them, in trying to hurt them. 

“He said that you’re his Mom, and no matter what happened you were going to be his Mom and you traded yourself for him because you loved him.” Emma looked down at her hands and I leaned against the wall beside me. “But if they left, he’d never forgive them for letting you die because they were holding grudges.”

I chuckled. “He does realize I’m the one with the grudges?” 

Emma smirked. “I assume so, which makes it even better.” She didn’t give me a chance to reply, but pushed open the door and gestured for me to lead. 

The room was dark and I tensed, my heart slamming into my chest as my eyes slowly adjusted to it. My hand found the door frame and I held on tightly as I tried to tell myself that I was safe, but the darkness pushed against me. “I can’t.” 

Emma pulled me back and turned me toward her and my body, already weak, simply let her as my mind screamed. “The dark?” She asked and I nodded before I closed my eyes. As if that was any better.

She let go of me, and I was grateful that I was leaning against the wall as my legs were unsteady. I heard her move around in the room, and I swallowed thickly against the panic rushing through me.

“Regina.” I hummed. “Regina, open your eyes.”

When I opened my eyes she stood in front of me with a candle. She held it out for me to take and I blinked into the fire. “Did you use magic?” I asked stupidly. 

“Yes the magic of matches,” Emma replied with a smile and I licked my lips to stop a smile. “Come on, I’ll open the curtains, you wake him up.” 

I followed Emma into the room with the candle in my hands. Henry was sleeping so peacefully, I wouldn’t have thought he’d gone through hell and back in Neverland. 

“I don’t want to wake him.” I whispered as I stared down at him, and I swayed as the ship swayed. I sat down on the edge of the bed and glanced up at Emma, who stood at the curtains. “Is that okay?” 

Emma shrugged. “Sure. Do you want me to bring you some food here?” She asked. I inclined my head and she moved toward me. “I’ll be right back.”

I kept my focus on Henry. Just before he was taken he had shown me that he loved me by wanting me to live. Emma had helped me, and the trigger to destroy Storybrooke had been disabled. He had believed in me and I wanted to make sure that his trust in me would not be broken. 

“Mom?” Henry moved, leaned up on his elbows as he looked at me and I blinked to focus. “You’re okay?” He sounded unsure and I leaned forward, holding out my arms. 

“Give me a hug?” I asked and he jumped up and pushed himself into my arms, almost knocking us over. He wrapped his arms around my neck and held me tight and my arms moved and wrapped around his waist. “I’m so proud of you.” I blinked again and blinked to keep the tears at bay. 

“They got you out,” he murmured and I nodded my head and closed my eyes tightly. “I thought I’d lost you forever.” He sobbed and that broke me. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks as he sobbed in my arms and I could feel his tears soaking into the shirt. 

“I’m okay now,” I rasped around my tears and he nodded his head against my shoulder, sobs still wrecking his body. “I’m safe now.” I wasn’t just telling him, but myself too. “I’m not going anywhere again.” 

I looked up, my throat hurting and my nose stuffy from crying and I pulled Henry even closer. “I love you Mom.” His voice was soft but I heard him loud and clear. 

“I love you too, my little Prince.”

* * *

 

“What are we waiting for?” I asked Emma as she walked into the room, a tray in hand. She put it down before she turned toward us. 

I had moved to sit against the wall and Henry had fallen asleep with his head on my lap, a peaceful expression on his face. 

“We are waiting for nightfall. It’s something that Hook and Hood talked about. I was with you, so I don’t know any more than you do,” Emma smiled and gestured to the tray. “What do you want first? There’s tea and toast...and that’s it.” 

I chuckled and shrugged. “I think that’s all my stomach can handle now anyway.” Her face fell and I averted my gaze. “Could you hand me the tea?”

“Sure.” She handed me the cup first, and then a slice of toast. “Eat something too. I know it’s not much but...well, like you said, it’s probably all you can handle right now.”

I sipped the tea. It was watery, the taste of it lost. But I still sipped without saying anything about it and that surprised even me. Had I gotten used to keeping my mouth shut when I didn’t like something?

“How long until dark?” I asked as I handed back the cup. I nibbled on the toast, my stomach clenched and I swallowed a piece. “I don’t think I can finish this.” 

“Take your time.” Emma smiled as she sat down next to me. She glanced down at Henry. “He’s growing up way to fast.” She shook her head and leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed. “He’s way too mature for his age.” 

“Not too long ago he found out the woman that adopted him was actually one of the fairy tale characters he knew from a book. I’m also one of the worst people in that book. Does it surprise you that he matured too fast?” I huffed. “He wanted to get away from me.” 

“Maybe we can figure this out when we get home?” Emma murmured as she turned and pushed her shoulder against the wall beside me. Her hand moved to my arm and though I jerked at the touch, she didn’t let go. “I know that he’s been a little shit and I’ve let him, because somehow I liked it. But things should change.”

“You are his mother.” I said as my throat tightened. “He wants to be around you and I don’t want to force him to be with me. When we get home, he’s probably going where you are going...even if that means you’re leaving Storybrooke.”

“If that’s what you think...why don’t I promise you I’ll move into the mansion just so that Henry doesn’t get the choice which mother he spends time with?” Emma asked and I turned, my eyes narrowed.

“Is that what you want?” I asked, my head trying to wrap around what Emma was suggesting. “You want to move into the mansion...with me?”

“And Henry.” Emma sighed. “I know it’s going to take a while for you to be comfortable around me with what he did to you.” I shook my head but she held up her hand. “But I would like to spend time with Henry. If you say no, I’ll back off.” She looked small, and dejected and I gently covered her hand on my arm with my own hand. 

“I have no trouble being around you, Emma,” I said as I squeezed her hand. “And maybe having you around will make me feel safer. I just don’t want you to feel forced.”

The ship rocked to one side and I felt my stomach lurch. 

“I’m guessing they decided the time was now.” Emma breathed as she clenched her jaw and Henry shifted awake on my lap. “Hold on, Kid. We are on our way home.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had this written for a while, but with the other story I just forgot to post it so here we go!

I stood to the side, happy that my feet finally had even, solid ground to stand upon after the jungle and the ship. 

Snow, David, Emma and Henry had been pulled into the crowd that had formed. I pushed my hands in my pockets as I watched. I had no one other than Henry. 

I swallowed passed the lump in my throat and kept my gaze on Henry, trying to ignore everyone around me as they talked to each other. The fact was that I didn’t even want anyone near me, so I didn’t know why it hurt so much that I didn’t have anyone to be happy I was back. 

Henry turned toward me with a smile, but a hand pulled him back and his attention was back on the people around him. 

“Looks like we are alone together,” a voice beside me said and I turned. Robin Hood stood next to me, a small smile on his face. His hands were clasped on his back.

“Looks like.” I turned back to Henry, only to find he had moved and I glanced around, my heart thudding loud in my chest. 

“He’s right there,” Robin said, pointing toward the other side of the dock. Henry was there, with Emma and Ruby, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Can’t let him out of your sight now that you’ve found him, huh?”

I shook my head as an answer, and inhaled deeply. “I should go get him and take him home.” I stepped forward, only to be stopped by a hand on my arm. 

Robin turned me around, and my body tensed as I could’ve sworn I saw a glimmer of green in his blue eyes. “Leave him be, he’s enjoying the attention.” 

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and turned back toward Henry again, my throat constricting with panic. I stepped away from Robin again and this time, he didn’t stop me. I made my way toward Henry, and then suddenly, Emma walked up beside me. 

“Ready to go home?” She asked. I blinked at her as the panic receded and stumbled. “Slow down, you do realize your body is a mess right?” 

“Really, Miss Swan?” I murmured and she chuckled before she held out a hand. I kept my hands pushed deep in my pockets, not wanting to show weakness. She was right, though. My legs still felt shaky, walking hurt because of the cuts that I still felt, even though Emma had healed everything.

“Let me go get Henry. Maybe we can get Ruby to fix us some dinner tonight,” Emma said, her eyes filled with hope. “A burger sounds really good right about now.” 

I rolled my eyes as she linked her arm with mine. I glanced at the hand on my arm and then back up at Emma, who feigned ignorance as she grinned toward Henry. “I can make you a burger if you desire it.”

Emma smiled down at me with a twinkle in her eyes. “I know you can. I’m guessing though, that you’d want to take a shower.  _ I  _ want to take a shower,” Emma shuddered and I swallowed thickly. Of course I wanted to shower and wash everything Pan did to me off of me.

“And your solution is greasy burgers from Granny’s?” 

“A burger from Granny’s is usually the solution...but if you want a salad or just some toast, I can do that.” Emma smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Don’t play a martyr,” I huffed and Emma laughed.

“Hey, Kid!” Emma called out and I flinched. Everyone turned toward us, eyes on our linked arms. “Let’s go home.”

Henry skipped toward us and to my surprise, wrapped his arms around my waist as he leaned into my side. I pulled him closer by putting my arm around his shoulder. 

“What’s for dinner?” Henry asked and I inhaled and pushed back a smile as I looked up at Emma. 

“Why don’t we decide when we’ve settled?” Emma smiled at Henry. “I’m feeling gross with Neverland dirt on me.”

We walked away from the crowd then, the three of us. We were all connected in a way, and somewhere along the way between disabling the trigger that would have destroyed Storybrooke, and trading myself for my son, I had gained at least one family member in Emma.

* * *

New, pink scars covered my stomach and the ones on my thighs burnt from walking to the mansion. The shower had done me good, though. I’d finally been able to actually wash my hair. I’d dressed in my most comfortable slacks, and a loose blouse. It would have to be enough.

Luckily, I didn’t have any injuries that needed tending to. 

My bed was inviting, after almost two weeks away from home. Emma was right though, we needed to eat something and if I went to bed now, I wouldn’t want to get out. 

I heard the tv playing in the family room and I followed the sounds of what I thought were cartoons. Both Emma and Henry, freshly showered, sat on the couch completely engrossed in Looney Tunes.

What I wanted was to catch Emma’s attention and talk about Robin and how he had gotten in with their band of heroes. 

“Mom!” Henry called and I jerked as he stood and grabbed my hand. “Come sit, we were waiting for you.” He moved fast, pulling me around the couch. I sat down as he bounced next to me on the couch. Emma, on the other hand, moved to stand.

“I got a call from my pa...well, apparently the citizens of Storybrooke treated this as a funeral and they’ve brought food to them. It means...healthy food and we don’t have to do anything but heat it up.” Emma grinned at me when I started to scowl at Henry for his exuberance. “If you’re okay with it, I can go get some?” 

“Couldn’t they bring something here?” I asked before I could stop myself. I bit my lip and stared at the tv screen, not seeing anything.

“Sure. I can call them back,” Emma replied softly. Henry, luckily, missed everything because he was back to being engrossed. She took her phone out of her pocket. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Water is fine, thank you,” I replied. Emma inclined her head and moved toward the kitchen as she dialed. 

I turned back to Henry, who had stopped moving. His eyes were watery as he watched me and for a moment I was speechless. I looked down at my hands, wondering what it was he saw when he looked at me. Was it the Evil Queen, like many other people in Storybrooke?

“Emma healed you didn’t she?” Henry asked then, startling me. “She healed me too, after I ran.” Henry turned off the tv then and turned toward me. “She said that you had talked her through how to heal but before Neverland you didn’t talk much. You were always fighting with her.” 

I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat and then looked up at him. Even though my eyes were burning with tears. “She did heal me.”

“Were you badly hurt?” He asked as he leaned closer. “Emma didn’t say.”

For a moment all I could do was stare at him. Emma had told him only half of the story, leaving it up to me to decide if I wanted to tell him anything more. I gestured for him to come closer, to give me the comfort of his touch and he grinned before he moved and curled into my side. 

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to tell you about what happened,” I said and tightened my grip on him when he wanted to move away. “I’ll tell you it was bad enough, and it’ll be hard for me to move on from it so what I want is for you to bear with me as I...as I give this a place in my life.”

He hummed, and then nodded his head against me. “So, will we stay here with you? Or will you want to be alone?” He asked softly. “I mean, if you need to be alone I’d understand but I really want to stay with you.” 

“We’re staying, Kid. Despite what your Mom says, she wants us here,” Emma said with a grin as she made her way back into the family room with three bottles of water. 

“Really?” When Henry pulled back this time I let him. Emma handed him a bottle of water before turning to me and handing me one.

“Yes.” I replied. “I’m going to need some help anyway.” It was hard to admit. I never really learned how to accept help and admitting I would need it was harder than I had imagined.

“Help how?” Henry asked before he gulped down some water. 

“Not important now, Kid.” Emma replied and I closed my eyes for a moment, relieved I didn’t have to answer. “Food is on its way.” Emma sank down on the couch next to us and sighed. “That woman is a…”

I hummed as I ran my hand through Henry’s hair. “I know.” 

“I can accept that I’m dealing with Snow White and Prince Charming…” Emma said as she turned to me, tucking one of her feet beneath her. “Just…”

Henry turned to look at Emma. “Some people take a while to connect with their parents after finding them.” 

I arched my brow as I looked down at him. He simply shrugged. I turned back to Emma. “He’s right. I did some research when I adopted Henry, and one of the pamphlets I read, said that even if you were the one reaching out it might take a while to connect.”

“You should just tell them,” Henry added. “They’ll understand.” 

“They might not...they didn’t understand why I wanted to stay here, and not with them.” Emma murmured and I reached out and touched her shoulder before I could think about it. She glanced at my hand before she smiled at me.

“If you need to spend time with them,” I said thickly, “I don’t want to be the one standing between you and them.” 

“No, stop that,” Emma said as she took my hand from her shoulder and held it in hers. “I don’t want you to think you’re doing anything wrong because this is my own choice.” The doorbell rang and she smiled again. “Saved by the bell.”

* * *

Henry went to bed without protest, not long after dinner.

I swayed on my feet, not entirely against going to bed myself. But Emma seemed haunted and I just couldn’t get myself to leave her with her thoughts. 

“You want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” I asked as she leaned against the counter. I put the plates and cutlery into the dishwasher before I turned to her, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning my hip into the counter. “Or are you going to spend all night pouting?”

“I don’t pout,” Emma replied quickly. She then rubbed her temple and exhaled sharply. “I just hate that we couldn’t get to you sooner. And Henry was right, before Neverland we hardly ever talked and if we did it was to fight. I feel like…”

“Wait and see,” I said with a grimace. “The Charmings will come over tomorrow and offer help because they feel guilty, and they’ll put you to shame with it.” 

Emma gasped. “I’m not just doing this because I feel guilty.” 

“I know,” I replied softly. “We share a son.”

“You adopted my son,” Emma said. “You are his mother even if I gave birth to him. I didn’t do a thing to raise him.” She huffed and I looked down at the floor. “I don’t know how I got it into my head, that I had a right to take him from you.” 

I swallowed thickly. “I don’t want to fight about this anymore, Emma.” 

“And we won’t,” she replied. “Because if you decide you want me out of his life I’m going to accept that. However hard it will be.” She pulled away from the counter and turned toward me again. “What did Pan do to you?” 

I jerked back and turned away from her. “Enough.” 

“If you ever want to talk…” Emma gently put her hand on my shoulder and turned me toward her. “Or if you just want a shoulder...I’ll be here okay?”

I nodded my head before I thought about something else. “I wanted to ask you how Robin had come to help you?” 

Emma blinked in surprise and then looked up. “Uh, he appeared around the same time that Henry fell over me, said he’d help us take you away from Pan.” She looked down at me again and I cleared my throat. “Why?”

I thought about telling Emma what I’d seen. The green, swirling into the blue of his eyes. But then I shook my head, because it didn’t prove anything and it would just cause more stress for everyone involved. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

“He...he gives me a strange feeling.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I am so so sorry for the long wait! I don’t want to promise anything but I will do better with updating my fics!
> 
> Enjoy!

Sleep was hard, as I could’ve expected. Every time I dozed off, I heard something that startled me enough to make me wake up again. In the end, I dozed off a couple of times, not long enough to sink deeper, which meant I had a night without dreams. 

I gave up around five in the morning and made my way down the stairs in my pajamas, the silk feeling nice on the cuts even though they were mostly healed. With the lack of sleep, everything in my body felt heavy, and it felt like every nerve was on edge. 

I brewed coffee and while I waited, I started planning dinner. I always enjoyed cooking, giving my own twist to recipes I’d found in cook books and recently, on the internet. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” I snapped my head up to look at Emma, my heart skipping a beat at the sound of her voice. Her green eyes were just a little dull as she rubbed her face. “I think I’ve gotten used to the quiet.”

I narrowed my eyes. “The quiet?” 

“Yea, you kept saying those pockets.” Emma sighed as she moved around the kitchen as if she’d done so before. I watched her, as she grabbed two mugs and set them on the counter. “It was like Snow and David picked them out. I’ve never really liked the total silence but after two weeks of it I’ve gotten used to sleeping in it.” 

“Those pockets of silence are everywhere in the Enchanted Forest. They do provide the most safety because if you’re not in them, you can’t hear what happens inside.” I said. Emma hummed and poured the streaming coffee into the mugs. “My castle was built in one.” She handed me one of the mugs and hummed again.

“You didn’t sleep much did you?” She asked after a moment and I shook my head. “Nightmares?” 

“No.” I wrapped my hands around the mug even though it hurt. “Every time I was about to fall asleep something got me back from that brink.” I shrugged. “It’ll probably get better soon.” 

“Are you going to talk to Archie?” Emma pulled the mug from my hands. I narrowed my eyes at her. “Can’t have been comfortable.”

“I should.” Emma watched me closely and I pushed at the feelings that surfaced. “I should talk to Doctor Hopper.” 

“But…”

“We just got home. Everyone is trying to handle what happened.” I picked up my mug again and took a small sip. “I’m more worried about Henry.”

Emma took a deep breath and I watched her. Her green eyes had gotten back that spark now that she was awake for a while. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, and I thought she looked beautiful with that thoughtful expression on her face. 

“Yea,” Emma murmured. “We should talk to him and see if he’s open to talking to Archie about what happened.” She took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. “You know I want to stick around and everything, but I think after two weeks of...well, the town was lawless, so I’ll need to go to the station.”

“Of course.” I replied quickly and breathed in. “You don’t have to babysit me.” I huffed. “Besides, I have things to do.” 

Emma grinned and shook her head at me. “What are you going to do, Regina?”

“I…” I glared at Emma as she was right. I wasn’t the Mayor anymore – I didn’t even want to be. “I can spend time with Henry. And I could...write out a statement.” 

Emma raised her eyebrows. “You want to give a statement?”

“No.” I breathed and Emma chuckled. “I don’t know, I just don’t want you to think I need a babysitter.” My chest tightened and I cleared my throat. “I can take care of myself.” 

“Oh,” Emma hummed, “I know. I’m not...I just wanted you to know and maybe...if you want you could come with me, or you could stay here,” she added quickly. 

“Let’s see what Henry wants...if he wants to come with you, I’ll…” I sighed and shook my head. “I think I need to do some grocery shopping.” 

Emma blinked and I bit my lip to stop the laugh. “Seriously?” 

“I’m willing to bet that the Charmings and Robin Hood are going to be having dinner here.” I turned to the fridge and opened it. “Everything in here has been here for over two weeks and I don’t know what we can use.” 

It was like a switch had flipped inside of me as I pushed the feelings of panic, fear, but mostly something akin to desire aside again and turned to Emma, my back straight and my face impassive. 

“Okay,” Emma took the last of her coffee and watched me for a second. It set me on edge, like it always did when I was putting on my mask. “I’m going to uh, get dressed.” 

I swallowed the pain as I took a sip of my now cold coffee and sighed. I would always make people run away from me and it hurt, even though I pushed them away. 

A sound behind me startled me and I turned. “Again, Miss Swan?” She didn’t answer and I rolled my eyes but turned back around. I poured myself another cup of coffee. 

“Pour me a cup?” I jerked, the mug sliding out of my hand as I turned quickly. My heart was hammering in my chest and I gasped. “Whoa, it’s just me.” 

“That doesn’t help,” Emma pushed past Robin Hood and took my shoulders, pulled me into her arms as I gasped for breath. I wasn’t sure if it was helping, my heart was slamming into my ribs and my head was spinning. “Regina, breathe slowly, follow my lead.” Emma took a deep slow breath and slowly exhaled. 

“Can’t,” I gasped out as I tried to follow her lead. I took a shuddering breath and blew out, then tried again. The pressure she put on my body helped, slowed me down enough to make me focus on my breathing. I grabbed a hold of the back of her shirt. 

“Of course you can.” Emma swayed and if it wasn’t helping calm me down even more, I would’ve laughed. “Breathe in, breathe out.” She breathed with me for a while, and held me as I calmed down. 

She stopped swaying when my breathing evened out and I closed my eyes and kept my focus on my breathing as Emma held me. “Thank you.” 

She hummed. “Back in one of the homes, one of the kids did this when I had a panic attack and it worked miracles. Everyone is different, but even though there was a risk...I thought it was worth a try.”

“A risk of what?” Robin asked from behind us and Emma turned, taking me with her. “What would happen if it didn’t work?”

“Well, considering what Regina has been through with Pan...it could have worked against us and she could have gone full blown panic attack.” Emma’s voice trembled and I opened my eyes and pulled back. 

“You mean because he used you against me?” I asked. She nodded once and swallowed visibly. “I told you...it didn’t work.” 

“Yea but he still wore my face.” She grimaced and I pushed away from her with a sigh. 

“Robin,” I addressed our unwanted guest. “How did you get in here? And what do you want?” I moved, making my way through the kitchen on shaky legs. 

“Back door,” Robin replied. “And uh…” he narrowed his eyes and then shrugged. “I wanted to see how you were doing, Regina.” 

I stepped back in surprise as he stepped forward. “Next time, maybe go about it the regular way,” I huffed. “I don’t need that every morning.” 

“I understand.” Robin smiled. Emma moved around me and poured him a cup of coffee, her body language telling me she agreed with me. “I’m used to moving around in the woods but it’s cold out there.” 

“What do you mean, out there?” Emma snapped as she handed him his coffee. “Are you sleeping out in the woods?” 

Robin hummed as he took a sip of his coffee. “Yes, I am.” He moved to lean against the door frame. “I saw the diner on my way here. Bed and breakfast sounds good.”

“It does.” I replied with a smile that didn’t exactly hold my feelings. He still gave me a bad feeling and his eyes, they confused me. “Why don’t we go for breakfast when Henry wakes up?”

* * *

 

We walked, slowly but steadily toward the diner. Henry held my hand so tightly that it felt like he didn’t want to ever let go. It felt good – it felt wrong. 

The fact that he felt the need to hold on to me, was wrong because of the why. I didn’t want him to ever be scared of losing me. It still felt good, because it showed me that he did love me even when he was pushing me away. 

Granny’s was filled with the regular crowd and I pulled Henry into me for a moment, pushing my anxiety back as my heart sped up.

“You okay Mom?” Henry asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “We could go back.” 

I took a deep breath. “No.” Emma moved to stand on my other side. “I can do this, just give me a moment. You can go inside.” Henry hesitated for a moment, until Robin gently pushed him toward the door. 

Emma stayed with me. “I always hated quiet places like Storybrooke because everyone would know me and would know who I was. A sad, lonely orphan girl.” 

“You’re not,” I breathed out as I grabbed her hand. “You’re not that girl anymore, Emma.” 

“I know. Which is why I can walk in there feeling like the woman I am – I’ve found my family no matter what my feelings about it, and I just wanted you to know that you are part of that family.”

I choked back a sob, and then smiled at her. “You have a way of distracting me from what I’m feeling. Only to push me into feeling something else.”

Emma chuckled. “That’s me. And I figured one of those bear hugs wouldn’t do right now, with everyone able to see.” She winked at me, and I swallowed as my cheeks flushed.

“I don’t just want hugs because I’m panicking,” I said, before I quickly turned away and pushed into Granny’s. I clenched my jaw when a strange feeling settled over me much like nerves. The butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling. 

Henry waved at me with a smile and I made my way over to the table he had chosen. Robin sat next to him, so I took off my coat and sat opposite of Henry.

It took Emma a moment, but when she walked into the diner she looked relaxed, and for a moment I figured my comment hadn’t done anything, but the moment she looked at me the butterflies were back, and her mask slipped if only for a second. 

“Can I get you anything?” I startled when Ruby spoke from beside me and I turned to her, while Emma sat down next to me. 

“I’ll have my regular with coffee,” Emma said from beside me. “Henry?” 

“Me too, with hot cocoa with cinnamon,” Henry replied with a grin. For a moment, I thought about saying something about the sugar bomb he was about to ingest. 

“I’ll have what the boy is having,” Robin said, a confused look on his face. I smirked and decided that it would be fun to see his reaction to the pancakes drowned in syrup. 

“I’ll have my own regular with a cup of coffee,” I told Ruby. The wolf hummed and walked to the next table, while I turned to Emma. She was squinting at her phone and for a moment I just watched her. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” she replied. “Snow wants to talk to me she says it’s important.” She lifted her eyebrows. “So important that she’d risk me not reading my messages.” 

“Well, go,” Robin said. “If you’re worried about Regina’s safety, I’m here to keep an eye out.” 

I huffed. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.” 

Emma grunted as she pushed her phone in her pocket. “We know. Eat your breakfast, text me if you need me. Or something.”

“I don’t have a phone,” I replied when I realized that I hadn’t seen my phone since we got back from Neverland. “I think...Pan has it.”

“Oh for god's sake,” Emma rubbed her forehead. “Go get a phone then, because even if you didn’t use it much before, we are going to need to be able to contact each other especially now.” 

I frowned at her. She was snappy for no apparent reason. She stood and I followed her lead. “I need to talk to you.” I took her hand as she grabbed her jacket. She followed me to the door and then stopped me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” she murmured and I pulled at her hand again. She followed me outside and huffed. “Seriously? What is wrong with you?” 

I took a deep breath, and then pulled her into a bear hug. She wasn’t panicking, and she wasn’t even close to an anxiety attack but she needed a hug. “Just...you should know that even though you feel like you need to take care of everyone...sometimes you can lean on me too,” I whispered into her ear. “Don’t hesitate to confide in me if you’d feel the need.” 

She wrapped her arms around me and inhaled. “Thanks.” She held still for a moment and then slowly pulled back. Her lips pressed against my temple and the butterflies were back again. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Buy a phone.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, my lovelies!

I poured myself a glass of wine, not in the least looking forward to my dinner guests. As I had expected, the Charmings somehow invited themselves to dinner in the mansion, and had made sure to include Robin Hood. 

Cooking calmed me. Usually, at least. Tonight it just set me on edge as I sipped my wine. I was sure if combining wine with my anxiety was a smart idea, but I did it anyway. 

“Why did they invite themselves again, Emma?” I asked the blonde. Emma had gotten home an hour ago and had told me that Robin Hood was coming too – she’d already informed me of her parents coming during lunch. 

“Because they wanted to talk about everything. Without Henry,” Emma added with a grimace and I huffed. “I know, I didn’t agree at first.” 

“What made you change your mind?” I asked before I took another sip of my wine. I needed something stronger, but I was risking it already. “And who’s watching our son?”

“Ruby offered, when I came to get my breakfast. Thanks for that,” she smiled and I returned it quickly before I turned and poured myself another glass. “Are you sure that’s wise?” 

“What is wise, is not having anyone over for dinner.” I sipped the wine and enjoyed the taste before I turned to the stew I had on the stove. I’d started cooking the moment I knew the Charmings were coming, my nerves shot when Emma had told me Robin would join. “I don’t want them in my home.” 

“Okay, risking incineration – stop whining,” Emma huffed and I blinked before I turned back to face her. I narrowed my eyes at her over my wine glass. “If we – if you do this now, you can tell them to fuck off if they ask again.” 

“I’m not in the habit to tell people to...fuck off,” I replied and she chuckled. I looked up at the ceiling and blew out a breath. “You’re right though.” I clenched my jaw. 

Emma stepped toward me and I tensed if only for a moment. She stopped. “I know right now all you want is to give what happened to you a place and I get that you don’t want them to be in the middle of your business. I’d even understand if you don’t want me here, but they did help save you.” 

I glanced back at her, took a deep breath and held out my free hand. She didn’t hesitate to take it. “You know I appreciate that you’re here.” I told her and she shrugged. “I know they helped save me. And they deserve at least a thank you.”

“Yea,” Emma hummed. 

“That still doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy any of this,” I murmured and Emma hummed again, pulling me toward her. She took the wine glass from me and put it on the kitchen counter.  “You’re getting free with those touches. Pulling me around,” I told her softly and she sighed as she pulled back again. 

“I want to comfort you, Regina. I...somehow,” she puffed out a breath. “I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop if you want.” I shook my head and pulled her back, my arms around her waist. 

“Don’t.” 

She wrapped her arms around me. “You just like my hugs.” She murmured as she took a deep breath.

“Are you sniffing my hair?” I asked incredulously before I chuckled. “And, if you ever tell anyone this I’ll kill you, but you make me feel safe.” I inhaled deeply. “Always have.” I said on the exhale. “So yes, I do like your hugs.”

Butterflies filled my stomach when her arms tightened and my head spun with the heady feeling of it. Emma had always made me feel safe, even when I’d thought she was going to take Henry from me. 

“Well.” Emma said softly. “I feel the same way when I’m around you, so that’s good.” She chuckled dryly and pulled back a little. “Who knew the Savior and the Evil Queen would turn out to be…”

“Something else,” I added softly. “We’re something else.” I couldn’t let her label it a friendship when clearly, it was more. “I’m not saying I’m ready…”

“Regina?” Emma whispered as she looked at me intense enough to make a shiver run down my spine. When I hummed she smiled. “We don’t have to do anything about it anytime soon.” 

She pulled me closer again and I closed my eyes as I leaned into her, enjoying the feeling of safety she brought me. “Thank you.”  

The moment was broken by a knock on the door and I pulled back quickly as Emma sighed. “I’ll get it,” she said before she glanced at me one last time, and then walked out of the kitchen. 

I took a gulp of wine before I turned back to the stew and stirred it, the smell of it filling the kitchen. I listened to the sound of the door opening and the voices that filled the hall. And I finished off my second glass of wine before filling my glass again. 

“Smells delicious,” Robin said from behind me and I jerked back, only to bump into him. I turned and moved away from him as he watched me with interest in his eyes. They flashed from blue to green and back again. 

My heart slammed into my chest and I gasped for breath as I moved further away. Emma walked into the kitchen to see me being weak, my face felt cold and she frowned at Robin. 

“What happened?” She asked as she glanced between Robin and me. His eyes were a solid blue now and I swallowed and cleared my throat. 

“Nothing,” I said breathlessly and cleared my throat again. “He startled me is all.” 

Emma lifted her eyebrows as she turned to Robin. “I don’t know what kind of life you’ve led where you come from...but here, you don’t sneak up on someone who’s been through hell.” The anger in her voice took my breath away. 

“Emma,” I started only to be interrupted by the Charmings walking into the kitchen, effectively breaking into the tension. I have never been this happy to see them. “Snow, David.” I inclined my head and then glanced at my wine glass. 

“We brought wine,” Snow said with her hallmark smile. 

“Great,” I replied with a smirk and then moved through the kitchen, purposely avoiding Robin, to get the wine glasses. “Would you like a glass now?”

“Regina,” Emma warned and I lifted a brow. She sighed but shook her head and I turned to Snow.

“I’d like a glass,” she said with a frown on her face. “David?” 

David just inclined his head. I poured them both a glass and again, avoided Robin as I made my way to the stew – and my wine. 

“Dinner is almost ready, the table is set,” I told them, my gaze focused on Emma before I turned back to the Charmings. I felt like Robin was still too close to me even though he was standing a few feet away from me. 

“Why don’t we move the party to the table then?” Emma said with a smile. Robin hummed in agreement and moved quickly, as if feeling how uncomfortable I was with him around.

Our guests moved to the table in the dining room but Emma stayed. “What?” I asked when she stared at me. 

“What happened? Between you and Hood?” She asked softly. I looked down at the glass in my hand and then huffed before I put it back on the counter. I wasn’t the kind of person to drink myself into a stupor. 

“I just feel...I have a bad feeling when he’s close,” I replied. Her eyes narrowed. “I told you...and I know this isn’t your doing but I just don’t want him in my home.”

“You always have a reason though, and it’s not just a feeling isn’t it?” 

I took a deep breath and shook my head. “No it’s not, but I doubt you’ll believe me when I tell you. Besides, I don’t even know it’s possible.”

“What?” Emma asked and then softened. “Regina, tell me what you suspect and we can try and figure out if it’s possible, okay?”

“I just…” I tried to think of a way to explain to Emma what I felt when he was around and what I felt when I saw his eyes flicker from blue to green. “Can we talk about this later?” 

Emma hummed. “Of course.” 

I turned to the stove and checked the stew. “Dinner is ready, why don’t we move this to the table?” 

Emma helped me take the stew to the table and I brought the wine that the Charmings had brought with them. After pouring them another glass and finally giving Robin something, we all sat down and ate. The conversation was light and even though I still felt uncomfortable with Robin around I found myself enjoying the company. 

Robin left soon after dinner, thanking me before slinking off. After the door closed behind him I took a deep, calming breath and locked the door. 

Emma had moved her parents to the living room, and I made my way into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. While the coffee brewed I cleaned the kitchen, putting the plates and the utensils in the dishwasher. 

It didn’t take long for Emma to find me. “Even my parents seem to have noticed the tension.” She said as she grabbed four mugs and placed them on a tray. “Snow asked about it.” 

I sighed. “I’ll explain.” I put the pot of coffee on the tray and Emma quickly lifted it before I could. “Go, we will have that talk.” 

Emma hurried into the living room before me and poured coffee for all of us. “Is it going to be a long night?” Snow asked with a smile. 

“Yes.” I replied as I sat down and rubbed my temples. “But first of all, I’d like to thank you for...for getting me away from that hell.” I blew out a breath as my heart started pounding. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to tell you everything that happened, but just know that you literally saved my life.”

“Oh, Regina,” Snow breathed, looking like she wanted to come and hug me. I subtly shook my head, indicating to her that I wasn’t ready for that.

“I...that’s all I want to say about it,” I told them, and after they nodded I sighed with relief. “I’m sure you’ve noticed...the tension.” 

“With Robin, Yes,” David replied and he shook his head. “I don’t understand.” He glanced at Snow, who also looked confused. “He did help save you.”

“Yes.” I nodded. “I feel uncomfortable with him around. Did anyone notice his eye color?” 

Emma snorted. “What? Why is that important?”

“They are blue,” Snow replied and shrugged when David frowned at her. “I’m married, not blind.”

“Every time I am around him,” I said as David was about to say something. “His blue changes to green. Pan’s eyes are green, but he’s not here, is he?”

“What are you saying?” Emma asked, and I could see dread moving into her eyes. “Are you saying that Pan somehow got a hold of Robin and what? Possessed him?”

“I’m saying with magic everything is possible,” I agreed and she closed her eyes with a sigh. “Like I said, you wouldn’t believe me and I have to admit that I have a hard time even believing it.” 

“I believe you,” Snow said. 

“I do too,” Emma added. “It’s just so fucked up. He didn’t even fight Pan!” 

I shook my head. “I don’t know what happened, all I know is I’m leaning toward Pan possessing Robin and if that is true...it means that we have another problem.”

“When is it ever going to stop in this town?” Emma sighed and I rolled my eyes at her. “No, seriously. How are we going to find out if it’s Pan? And if it is, how is he not letting himself be known?” 

Snow hummed. “I think he’s trying to…” she gasped, and I glared at her. “He wants to get close to Regina.”

“I’m well aware of that, Snow,” I snapped and then shook my head. “I just don’t understand why the only person he’s shown something to is me.” 

“Maybe he just wants to have everyone think she’s going crazy,” David said. “Get her alone?” 

“I have my magic here.” I said slowly. “Getting me alone...it won’t do him any good.” 

I hadn’t used my magic yet. I didn’t know why, maybe I was still trying to uphold my promise to Henry even though we hadn’t really talked about it. 

Emma was silent for a moment, but the way she looked at me told me she was onto something. So, along with her parents I waited, until she focused on me and smiled. 

“He doesn’t know that. And to figure out who he really is...we can use that go our advantage.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, lovelies!

My heart was pounding as I climbed into my bed. We hadn’t actually made a plan yet as to how we were going to find out if Robin was possessed, because the Charmings had been tired after what they called a long day and I had to admit, so was I. 

I couldn’t calm myself down after Emma and even the Charmings had agreed with me, Robin had been acting stranger than usual. He had a wife and kid back home and he was hanging around me like he wanted more. 

I tried to push the thoughts away, grabbing my reading glasses and the book on my nightstand. I didn’t even know what the book was about anymore, having been laying, forgotten, on my nightstand for at least six months.

I read the words only to realize I wasn’t actually reading them, went back and reread them. I sighed when, after it happened three times I figured that reading was out of the question. 

After a moment of staring ahead I pushed the covers off of me, ignoring the shiver down my spine and made my way through the mansion, into my office. Going against everything I’d been telling myself all evening, I poured myself a tumbler of whiskey. 

The first sip burnt down my throat and I moved around the office, swirling the liquid in the class before sipping again. 

“I thought I was the only one still awake,” Emma said from behind me and I turned, taking a moment to still my beating heart. She looked just as tired as I felt, her eyes red rimmed and her shoulders sagging. “Can I have some of that?” 

She gestured at my tumbler and I inclined my head. “Of course.” I moved again, filling another tumblr with the amber liquid and handing it to her. “Why aren’t you asleep?” 

“I’ve been thinking.” Emma took a sip and grimaced. “It all feels fucked up, this magic stuff. I still don’t know where to put it in my head.” She sighed and sank down on the couch. “Even Henry has an easier time with dealing with it.”

“Henry is still at that age,” I shrugged. She huffed and I sat down next to her. I couldn’t help but notice that even exhausted as she was, she was beautiful. “You’ve lived in a world without magic for the better part of your life, and I think you’re taking it really well, considering.” 

My chest tightened as I watched her. She narrowed her eyes at her whiskey and sighed before she looked up at me, her green eyes showing just how much it affected her. “I didn’t have a choice, did I? First, that wraith. Then every other fucked up magical thing that happened, and now this? Pan taking over Robin?” She rolled her eyes.

“We don’t know that for sure yet,” I replied, and Emma snorted. “Magic is a part of this town now, and I know you’re still getting used to it, but for me it’s…”

She sighed again and moved her hand to place over mine. “I know. It’s safety.”

“Not lately,” I said with a dry chuckle. I looked down at her hand and turned mine around, clasping it around hers. “It’s what I know, what I grew up with. It’s who I am.” 

My mother had raised me with magic, using it against me whenever she saw the need. I still felt the shiver down my spine whenever I thought about it and that combined with everything else, I didn’t know why I still loved magic so much. 

“Do you have a plan? How to beat Pan?” She asked softly and I breathed deeply before I shook my head. I had to admit that I didn’t want to think about him, not ever again. “So why are you still up?” 

I smiled at the obvious change of subject. “I couldn’t read.” 

“So that’s why you’re wearing your glasses,” Emma said with a smile and I lifted my hand, my fingers grazing the rim of my glasses. “It looks sexy.” Emma’s eyes widened and she shook her head. 

“Thank you, dear,” I said with a smile before she could take it back. I didn’t feel sexy in the least, but it did give me a warm feeling. Her eyes darkened as she stared at me, and she sighed. 

“Well, I should at least try and sleep.” Emma stood to her feet and emptied the tumbler. She glanced at me one last time before turning and making her way to the door.

I wanted to say something, I wanted her to know that I felt the same way, that I wanted her to feel free to say what she thought about me. I could feel the butterflies even now, and I felt safe with her close to me.

“Emma?” I softly called. She stopped, but didn’t turn. 

“Yea?” 

I took a deep breath, my heart slamming in my chest as I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted to say. She didn’t move for that silent moment. “Thank you for making me feel safe.”

* * *

 

_ His hand moved up my calf, his fingers seemingly burning a path through my skin and I fought to get away from his touch. The ropes holding me down tightened and then his fingers moved higher up my legs. A scream bubbled up in my throat, as his hand gripped my thigh. _

“Regina!” I jerked awake gasping for breath when her voice reached through the nightmare and I moaned before I sat up. 

“Emma?” I breathed as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. She practically glowed, her white tank top the only thing I could see. “Did I wake you?”

“Yea,” Emma replied. “It’s no big deal.”  She sat on the edge of my bed, frowning at me in worry.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead as a sob pushed past my lips. Tears filled my eyes and then fell down my cheeks. Rationally I had known nightmares would follow my week in captivity. I’d just hoped that with my past I would know how to keep them away. 

I’d gone back to my bed not long after Emma had, knowing I should at least try to sleep. I’d tried to sleep with the lights on, only to get annoyed at it burning my eyes every time I opened them and had turned them off. 

“I’m sorry,” I murmured and she moved closer to me. “I’ll soundproof my room.”

“Don’t you dare,” Emma quickly said as she moved even closer. “I’m going to give you another one of those hugs, okay? Because you need one and honestly, I need one too.” 

For a moment, all I could do was stare at her as she slowly moved toward me, giving me enough time to stop her. My heart slammed into my ribs as I lifted my arms, inviting her for a hug. 

She moved next to me though, and pulled me into her side, my head on her chest and one arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes, and breathed a sigh of relief as she held me. 

“I don’t understand how Robin terrifies me, while you…” I really didn’t understand how I wasn’t afraid of Emma in the least, even after Pan had tried to use her against me. “Gods, I don’t understand why you make me feel so safe.” 

“Me either,” Emma said, her voice rumbling in her chest. I smiled for a moment, my chest light. “It's a good thing though, right? That we both feel safe with each other?” 

“Yes.” I leaned away and glanced at her. “It is a good thing. Do you think...do you think it’s because of Henry?”

“What is because of him?” She asked me, a frown on her face. “That we feel safe with each other?”

“We both love Henry.” I pushed away a little more, trying to figure out exactly what I was trying to say. “Maybe we feel what we feel because of that.” Maybe that was why I felt butterflies whenever she looked at me, or when she was touching me.

“Regina,” Emma chuckled as she looked at me. “Henry isn’t the cause of my attraction to you.” She swallowed thickly and puffed out a breath. “And now, I will shut up and go back to my own bed before I dig this whole deeper.”

“No, wait,” I murmured as a smile forced itself on my face. “Don’t go.” She looked down at me with a grimace and for a moment I thought she had just said what I wanted to hear. 

“Why? If that didn’t scare the crap out of you after what Pan did with my face, I don’t know what will.” Emma grunted out, and I sighed. 

“It does scare me,” I replied and she widened her eyes and started to speak. I held up my hand as my throat tightened around the sudden lump in my throat. “It scares me because I feel the same way and I know I can’t do anything about it.” 

Yes, he had made it hard for me to actually open up to anyone, especially now that we had figured out that he was possessing Robin. But Emma was a constant in my life from the moment she walked into my life, with that hideous red leather jacket of hers. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” I breathed out. “I mean that…” how could I explain to her that I didn’t think I could kiss her without keeping one eye open, to make sure that it wasn’t a dream? “I don’t think I can do more than hugging, because I’ll always have him in the back of my mind.” 

She hummed and then pulled me back into her embrace. 

“I’m not asking you to do more than hugging,” she said softly before she pressed a kiss on my hair. “You need to do what you need to do. I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything, and honestly, if this is all I can get I’ll be happy.”

I closed my eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek and onto her tank top. “Can we just…”

“Drop this and go to sleep?” Emma added, before she started pulling away. “Yep.”

“Stay?” I asked, reaching out and wrapping my arm around her waist. “Please?” 

“Okay.”

* * *

 

I woke up with a warmth underneath me and for a moment all I could do was enjoy that feeling. 

Until the bed moved and I heard a moan, felt it against my ear. I snapped open my eyes and leaned up, staring straight into Emma’s eyes as she opened them. 

“Hey,” she rasped out as she moved, a hum deep in her throat. “You slept okay?” 

I sat up, rubbing my eyes before I turned back to face her. “Actually, yes.” I pushed my hair out of my eyes and smiled at her. “I didn’t expect to fall back asleep after…”

“No?” Emma smirked. “That’s it, we belong together.” 

I chuckled before I moved out of the bed. “Of course we do, dear. We share a son.” I waved a hand, conjuring my grey robe. “I’m glad he spent the night at Ruby’s.” 

She glanced up at me. “Me too.” She stood from the bed and stretched her arms over her head. She even stood on her tippy toes and grunted out as she stretched and something fluttered low in my stomach.

I swallowed thickly and cleared my throat. “I’m going to start on breakfast,” I murmured before I quickly made my way out of the room. I could hear her chuckle from the room and I gritted my teeth as a smile made its way to my face. 

I started the coffee, knowing Emma always needed a moment before she was ready to face the world, and started pulling together ingredients for a breakfast burrito. 

As I worked on breakfast I thought back on last night and I sighed. Every time I thought of doing anything to show Emma how much I liked her – something like kissing – panic washed over me and I couldn’t breath. I knew it just needed time, we had only been back a couple of days. 

“Damn, woman,” Emma murmured as she walked into the kitchen. I could hear her stomach growl and I chuckled as she poured two mugs of coffee. “You even make me want to get out of that awesome bed of yours.”

“You need breakfast,” I simply said as I plated her a burrito and put it down on the island. “So eat and get used to it, because as long as you stay here, you’re going to get three meals a day from me. Even if you’re working.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy, lovelies! Special thanks to my lovely new beta who’s been an amazing help with a lot of things as of late! You know who you are!

“I’ve decided I want to contact Gold, and I want to make him help us drive out Pan. He knows how to destroy him,” I told Emma.

After breakfast, we both took a shower and got dressed. Even though I hadn’t had any plans for the day, Emma needed to go to the station and I didn’t want to keep her from her job.

It had been a last minute decision to inform Emma of my last minute plan and I could already see she wasn’t agreeing with it at all.

She shook her head. “Are you sure that’s wise? He’ll want to make a deal and what if he wants something that you just can’t give?”

I arched a brow. “There isn’t much left I have to give.” She jerked back and I realized how bad that sounded. “What I mean is, I’ve been through hell and back and it doesn’t scare me.”

“But getting closer to me does,” Emma muttered and I blinked. I stepped back, narrowing my eyes. “Sorry.” She turned then, and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“You should be,” I snapped. “I’m not talking about offering myself to Gold, or kissing him even.” I shuddered and she paled. “I figured this would be a problem.” I shook my head before I turned around. I sat back down and put my head in my hands, pushing back my anger and fear.

“This?” Emma asked softly. “You mean telling me you want more but you can’t act on it?”

I snapped my head up to look at her. “I meant telling you about Gold.” I took a deep breath and pushed away the anger again. “He was my teacher, Emma. He taught me everything that I know about magic, and he might have something that can help us get rid of Pan.”

“I get it.” She nodded her head and picked up her cup, slowly sipping at it. “I’m going with you, and any deal made will be mine.” I was about to say something when she stopped me. “No, I’m serious. If you’re okay with going to him for help, I want you to be okay with this too.”

I glanced at her, her face twisted into a grimace. She was being serious and I couldn’t help but feel warmth spreading through me at the thought of her protective feelings being directed toward me. I’d seen it directed at Henry and her parents, but this was the first time I saw it for me.

“Alright.” I rose to my feet. “One condition though. I want you to trust that I know what I’m doing.” I moved closer, my heart speeding up the closer I got to Emma. “Can you do that?”

She cleared her throat and nodded her head. “Of course. I trust you, Regina.” She closed her eyes as I stepped away then, and when she opened them again, they had darkened. “I trust you to know what you’re doing. You’ve taken care of yourself for longer than I exist.  
I chuckled and she blinked before she smiled. “Thank you, dear. You make me feel so young when you say that.”

“Oh come on…” Emma rolled her eyes with a huff and grinned at me. “You know it’s just...you’re more than capable to look after yourself. That’s all.”

“You’d be surprised how much I’ve come to rely on people lately,” I murmured. I licked my suddenly dry lips and smiled at her. “I want to go to Gold before we pick up Henry, because I don’t want him involved in any of this.”

Emma hummed in agreement as she emptied her cup in the sink and put it in the dishwasher. “Why don’t we get on our way then?” she asked as she turned to look at me.

I swallowed thickly, still not entirely sure that Gold would help us, but then nodded. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 

Gold had disappeared on Neverland only to return home without any help from a magic bean, or even a portal. He had just magicked himself there and even though apparently it had been rough on his body, he had gotten home in one piece.

I pushed open the door to his pawnshop and huffed when the bell rang, indicating our arrival. I’d always hated that bell and I’d always wanted to just magic myself into the shop.

“Regina?” Emma called behind me and I turned slightly to look at her. “Why’d you stop?”

My cheeks flushed and I walked further into the shop. My head started pounding as the dark magic washed over me, and I wondered if that was what Emma felt when she went into the shop too.

“Gold,” I called out. There was a moment of silence and then a scrambling behind the curtain that led to the back. “I know you’re in there. I need your help.”

“Well, well, well,” Gold said with a grin as he pushed through the curtains. “I thought I’d never see the day that you would admit you needed help.” He chuckled before he glanced at me, and his face fell. “What happened to you, dearie?”

“You’re well aware of what happened to me,” I snapped.

I knew his powers, he had always been able to look into my soul. Maybe it was a connection and maybe it was just a blast but I watched him as he stared at me, his eyes focused but unseeing.

“That clears everything up.” Emma rolled her eyes as she moved around and snapped her finger in front of the pawnshop owner. “Hey, we need you to help us.”

“I see,” Gold said as he blinked. He moved around Emma and narrowed his eyes at me. “You want me to help you destroy Pan.”

“He’s possessing someone, someone who helped me get away from him. I need him out of there and I need him to…” I stopped and glanced up at Emma, who had a look of anger on her I had never seen.

“He needs to die a slow and painful death,” Emma added. I took a breath and then turned back to Gold.

“I know he’s your father–”

“Wait, what?” Emma snapped and both Gold and I turned toward her. “That evil little boy is your father?! God damn, he’s Henry’s family?”

“That he is, Miss Swan,” Gold replied softly before he turned toward me. “Magic always comes with a price.”

“I know,” I snapped. “And I am willing to pay whatever the price is.” I turned to Emma. “And so is Emma.”

“Good because it will be both of your prices to pay,” Gold replied and then grinned. “Because both of you need to get ready to use that magic of yours. It’s stronger together.”

I turned toward Emma again, my heart pounding when I saw determination in her eyes. “Ready?” I asked and when she nodded, I turned back to Gold. “What do we need to do?”

“I have potion...it will need both of your blood, and you will have to find a way to make him drink it. It’ll render him unable to do magic. Because believe me when I tell you he’s doing this on purpose.”

“Why does it need our blood?” Emma asked and I hummed in agreement. I knew potions with blood was stronger sometimes, and combining our blood was going to be an interesting potion to say the least.

“Like I said, together you’re stronger, and a potion with both of your blood packs is a punch he’ll not be able to get over quickly. He is old, and very strong himself.” The grin on this face told me there was something more to this.

“What’s the catch?”

He smirked. “You’ll be paying the price of this magic soon enough. I think I’ll offer you this for free.”

“I don’t trust you,” Emma growled at his back as he walked to the back. He simply chuckled and I leaned against the counter, watching as Emma paced.

“We have to figure out what we want to do, we don’t have to use the potion right away,” I told Emma and she huffed as she glared at me.

“You know we have to do this as quickly as possible – you need closure.” Emma crossed her arms. “And honestly all I want is to kick his ass for hurting you.”

I stood for a second as I felt the blood rush to my face. No one had ever wanted to seal vengeance for me, and it caught me off guard that Emma wanted to. “Thank you.”

She shrugged and turned toward the curtain. I could see the muscle in her jaw jump as she waited for Gold to return to the front of the shop. “So, what is this potion Gold is talking about?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” I exhaled and then closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It’s been a while since I went to him to ask...for a favor.”

“Okay.” Emma jumped when Gold returned and I moved closer, if only to calm her nerves. The imp knew how to make an entrance, but as I looked at him and the smile on his face, I knew he had something up his sleeve.

“What kind of potion is this?” I asked as I narrowed my eyes at the vial.

“It’s a potion to expel Pan from Hood’s body. Once that happens you can...use your magic to blast him out of town.” Gold hummed as he put down the vial. “Now I need a drop of blood from both of you.”

“Will that mean he’s going to have his own body?”

“No,” Gold replied. “He will be his own shadow and he will be able to hurt people just the same, but he won’t have his own body. He won’t have a body at all if you’re fast enough.”

I conjured up a needle and pressed the tip into my finger. When it snapped passed the barrier of my skin, I hissed and pushed a drop of blood out of the tip of my finger into the vial. The potion changed from blue to purple.

“Emma,” I pushed, and she huffed before she took the clean needle I’d conjured for her. She pricked her finger and dropped the drop of blood into the vial, the color changing from purple to an amber color.

“Interesting.” Gold murmured and then swirled the vial, before he corked it and handed it to me. “Careful with it. Once used, it will be impossible to turn back.”

“Why would we want to turn back?” Emma snapped before she gently took my hand and pulled me away from Gold and his answer. The imp simply chuckled as I followed Emma.

“Slow down,” I said as she started rushing for whatever reason. “What’s happening?”

“I needed to get away from that…” Emma growled and shook her head as she let go of my hand. “For some reason he gets on my nerves and I don’t want to spend more time in his company than needed.”

“I know the feeling.” I took her hand again and pulled her closer. “You know we are going to need a real plan. One that we might not even get to put in action for a while because as it seems now, Pan, or Hood, won’t be coming over anytime soon because I see through him.”

“And he wants you to think you were wrong,” Emma hummed in agreement when I nodded my head. She bit her lip in thought and I couldn’t help but stare at the little movement. Her hand tightened around mine and she smiled. “Let’s go home and figure this out with a nice cup of...whatever you want.”

* * *

 

I watched as Emma made us tea. Or at least she made me tea and for herself she made hot cocoa.

“How long have you been stocking this?” Emma asked as she looked at me, a mischievous grin on her face. “I thought you hated it when Henry drank it.”

“I still do.” I murmured as I watched her bounce around. She had the energy of ten kids and I wondered how it had been that Henry had been so calm. “He doesn’t know I have some, because I bought it right before we went to Neverland. I wanted…”

What I wanted didn’t really matter. Emma blanched before she grinned again. She ignored the implication I meant and took words before twisting them. “So you bought it for me? Because we were such good friends back then.”

“Of course, Miss Swan,” I hummed before she set down the cup of tea. I pulled it toward me, watching the tea infuse the water. “What is the plan with the potion?”

“I think the best we can do is invite him…”

“And offer him a drink?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. I knew it was the best we could do. “What do we do after? When he’s split from Hood?”

“I think we should use the cuff that Greg and Tamara used on you. Even a shadow that can hurt us will have no magic to poof away.” Emma smiled when I huffed as she pushed those miserable memories to the forefront. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, dear,” I murmured as I took a tentative sip of my tea. “I agree, we should use the cuff. And then take him to the town line and push him over.”

“That might be the best we can do.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter for more info on what I’m working on right now! @evilqueenr2015

“Are you alright?”

I blinked as I looked up at Emma and then nodded my head. Her concern somehow washed over me in a comforting stream. I wasn’t used to that kind of care.

A week had passed, Robin nowhere to be found and my nightmares a regular occurrence. I was careful not to wake Emma though, afraid that I’d tell her more than I was willing, while still feeling the after effects of the nightmare. 

“I’m fine, dear.” I wasn’t fine. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was trying to beat out of my chest. And the reason was standing right in front of me. 

Emma raises a brow. “You know I have that lie detector. Why don’t you tell me something more believable?” 

“I haven’t been sleeping.” I told her instead of the thoughts that seemed to have settled into my mind. Emma’s lips were turned up in a soft smile and all I could think of was kissing her. 

“I know that.” She clenched her jaw and when the muscles jumped; my eyes traveled there, and then to her neck. I sighed as I closed them. 

“Every time I lay in that bed, I feel like he’s there with me.” And my mood turned. I knew I shouldn’t have brought that bit of information up, but I trusted Emma. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Emma moved closer, but then stopped and I sighed. She leaned over the counter and took my hands in hers, the smile never really fading from her lips even though she was more serious now. 

“I know that too. And I told you that I am right here if you need me. Even if that means waking me up in the middle of the night.”

“I don’t want that.” The warmth of her hands seeped into my skin and it comforted me. “I don’t want to bother you because you’ve done so much for me already.” 

“And I would do it all over if I had to. I care about you.” She didn’t pull back, but she paled and then looked down. “I mean…”

“I care about you too.” I knew that telling her what I felt might not be the smartest move. “I know this is the worst timing.” 

“I know  _ my  _ timing is the worst. You’ve just been through something horrible and I’m talking about being...about wanting you as more than a friend.” 

“And that’s just fine because I want the same thing.” And I really did. I never really put much thought into it, but I knew I liked Emma more than I had let myself belief. Just thinking back on the butterflies whenever she was close, was enough. 

“Are you sure?” 

I watched her for a moment, her eyes bright with hope and I nodded. “I’ll...I’ll need you to take it slow, go easy on me. But I think I’d love to see where this is going. Someday.” 

She hummed. “I never really thought that this was a possibility.”

“Well, look what Neverland brought us then? We have gone through hell and back, and while…while I’m not sure how long it will take before I’m ready to do anything,” I swallowed thickly and she opened her mouth to interrupt. “No. I know it’s messed up, Emma.” 

“It is.” 

“But I also know that you and I have been having these…moments. Even before Neverland you were there for me when I needed you.” And she had been. I had felt like I was alone in the world until Emma came around. 

And while it wasn’t always ideal, and it hadn’t always been friendly, Emma had been a constant in my life since the day she arrived in Storybrooke. 

“Thank you.” She narrowed her eyes at our hands and then smiled. “You think it would be okay if I kept you company until you fall asleep tonight? Now that we talked about this?” 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, dear.” I wanted to joke about it, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. It was too early to joke about anything having to do with sex and Emma understood. “As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay.” Emma slowly pulled her hands back. I missed her touch already. “I’m going to clean up and then we can decide what to do.” 

As I went through the motions of taking a shower, I thought about the sudden turn of events. I hadn’t planned on telling Emma how I felt and I knew Emma hadn’t either. 

We were barely back from Neverland, but everything was changing and I didn’t know if it was such a bad thing. I had gotten back my son, even though it had meant going through some of the pain that I did. I had gained a good friend in Emma and I knew, the moment I was ready to move on, she would be right with me. 

My phone rang, and I narrowed my eyes at it as I stepped into my room. I had wrapped a towel around me, my hair dripping onto the carpet and my skin turning cold within seconds but it was Henry calling. 

“Henry,” I said into the phone as soon as I picked up. “Are you okay?”

“Hey Mom. I’m fine I just...I wanted to see how you were?” 

After Neverland, he had gotten closer to the Charmings and he had begged me for a sleepover with them. I had agreed if only because I didn’t want to wake him with my nightmares. 

“I’m okay, sweetheart.” I took a breath and pursed my lips for a moment. “Emma is taking good care of me.” 

“She is?” He sounded so surprised. 

I hummed. “Yes, she is. What are your plans for the weekend?” 

I knew it wasn’t a subtle change of subject, but it was all he needed to start rambling about his plans. I half listened as I got dressed, his voice soothing me in a way nothing else could. 

The door opened, and Emma glanced into the room. She blushed when she saw me, still mostly wrapped in the towel. I was wearing underwear though, so I waved her in. 

“...and I thought we could have lunch on Saturday? Maybe you could even invite Robin? I like him.”

Emma breathed in sharply before I realized that I’d put the phone on speaker. “We will see, but I’d love…Emma and I would love to have lunch with you on Saturday.” 

“No…Mom, I meant just you. We haven’t really spent time together,” Henry said and I clenched my teeth against the sudden burning in my eyes. 

“Oh, of course.” 

Henry was silent for a moment and then he sighed. “Sorry Mom, Mary Margaret says I have to go to bed.”

Emma stepped closer, but didn’t say a word. I hummed. “Good night, sweetheart. I will see you on Saturday.” 

“See you.” 

I wiped at my cheeks as tears slid down my face. I didn’t know why Henry inviting me out for lunch made me cry. 

“He’s a good kid, even though he doesn’t see that inviting Robin for a lunch just for the two of you isn’t really the best idea.” Emma moved even closer and I looked up at her. 

“I hadn’t even thought of that.” And I hadn’t. At first I had assumed that Emma would be welcome to join, because he had asked for Robin. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I feel…I feel like I’m finally getting my son back after three years.” I shook my head as Emma stepped even closer and I glanced at her. “Do you know you’re the only person that can touch me?” 

“Yes.” Emma lifted a brow. “Which is weird, considering.” 

“I never believed him when he showed himself as you. I always knew that you would never do anything to hurt me.” I stepped toward her and held out a hand. “Can you do me a favor?” 

She didn’t hesitate to take my hand. “Anything.” 

“Can you give me a hug?” I asked. “Really hold me? Without being afraid to break me or hurt me?”

Again, she didn’t hesitate to pull me toward her. She wrapped her arms around me, and my hands found the back of her shirt. She held me tight, not bothering to talk. Not wanting more, and especially not wanting less. 

She held me just right and all I wanted was to stay in her arms forever. 

I hadn’t felt like she was suffocating me, or hurting me. I never felt like she would ever do anything I wasn’t ready for and it made it easier to trust her. 

“Do you think it will get better if he’s gone?” I asked after a while. 

“No. It’ll get better with time, and not having him around will definitely help. But it won’t get better because of him. It’ll be because of you.” 

“Me?” 

“Your strength, your love. That’s what makes it better in the end. Henry loves you and he’s willing to step back and give you time to heal. And Mary Margaret and David care for you.” 

“What about you?” 

She hummed and pressed a kiss to my temple. “You know I care for you, more than I probably should. All things considered, you have more than enough people around you and you will be okay.” 

“With time.” 

“With time. That we have, no matter what happens.” 

“What do you mean?” I pulled back, my heart thudding in my chest as I looked at her. She looked down at me with so much love in her eyes that I almost melted into her again. 

“Even if you will only ever be okay with this, I’ll be here for you,” she explained and then smiled. “I mean, I wish I could kiss you right now.” 

I blinked and then glanced at her lips before I looked at her eyes. She was being honest with me and, if I was honest with myself, I’d love to kiss Emma. 

I leaned forward, and she widened her eyes in surprise. I wetted my lips and then slowly, gently, pressed my lips against hers. Her arms loosened around me and her lips softened against mine as she relaxed into the kiss. 

My lips moved over hers, and she let me hold the control over it. 

I didn’t deepen the kiss, or even move much. All I did was press my lips to hers and enjoyed the feeling of her. 

And then I pulled back. She looked down at me with a smile, again, but this time there was something else there. Something like the desire that I felt. 

“Was that okay?” 

“Regina...it was more than okay. That was perfect.” 

I couldn’t gauge if she was just saying that to appease me, but I took her words as truth and I smiled. I stepped out of her embrace even though I regretted it even before I did it. 

“I think I want to go to bed.” 

Her eyebrows shot up. “It’s not even ten.” 

“Well, I haven’t been sleeping.” I murmured before I turned toward my bed, glancing at her over my shoulder. “And you said you’d keep me company until I slept.”

“Of course.”

I moved around, putting on my pajamas and then turned toward Emma. “You can get ready, if you want. I’ll wait for you…”

“Y-Yea,” Emma stuttered and I almost smiled. I didn’t do any of this to tease her at all, but it was nice to know that she still had it. “I just want to take a quick shower and then I’ll join you.” 

“Perfect.” 

I listened to her move around the house, the door to my room open so that I could hear everything happening. I didn’t expect to doze off, but my eyes drifted closed and my mind raced around what had happened tonight. 

A kiss. I never expected that to happen between Emma and me. I drifted further into the darkness that was my hell and my heaven. 

_ Her body pressed to mine, her breath hot against the shell of my ear. I could feel her moving, and she rolled us over. _

_ “You’re so hot,” she murmured and I blinked, her voice not really hers at all. “I am going to fuck you so hard you’ll see stars.”  _

_ I whimpered when, instead of her thigh between my legs, it was something else. “No, please don’t.”  _

_ She grinned, and then grinded herself against me. Bile rose in my throat as I tried to push her off of me. I made the mistake to close my eyes. _

_ “You know I’m much stronger.” _

_ I opened my eyes, this time it wasn’t Emma, but Robin hovering over me. His eyes were black, and his hips moved against me with so much force I knew it would leave bruises.  _

_ “Stop!” _

_ I closed my eyes again, and all of a sudden there was a chuckle above me that I recognized. When I opened my eyes again, Pan was above me.  _

_ “You are never going to get rid of the feeling of me.” He grinned and hummed as his hips ground into mine. “Never.”  _

_ “No!” _


	13. Chapter 13

“Regina!” 

It sounded urgent. My heart was hammering in my chest, the weight on top of me suffocating me.

“Wake up.” 

Her voice. It called to me in a way that Pan never really got right. I opened my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks and I blinked, the light in the room still on and Emma’s body close to mine – practically naked. 

The towel that was wrapped around Emma was letting go, and Emma quickly tightened it around her. 

“Emma...” My voice sounded and felt like I had been screaming and I cleared my throat. “Just a dream.” 

“Regina,” she shook her head. “That wasn’t just a dream. I don’t have to know what it was about but please don’t downplay it.” 

“I’m not.” 

“You are.” 

“No, I’m trying to calm myself enough so that I can actually go to sleep.” I wetted my lips and then gritted my teeth. I needed the sleep and I needed Emma to understand that. “I need to calm down so that I can have you lay down next to me without feeling like something bad is going to happen.” 

Emma sighed as she tried to calm herself down. I felt like a burden already. “I can go to the guest room.” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

“Listen,” Emma said exasperatedly. “I don’t care about me, right now. I want you to be okay and if you want me here, I’ll be here. If you want me gone, I’ll go. But please, don’t give me that mayor crap.” 

I wiped at my eyes, and rubbed my fingers over the tear tracks on my face. I looked down, my eyes burning and my heart hurting. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Okay.” Emma breathed what sounded like a sigh of relief and I curled up on my side, wondering if I could ever sleep without the nightmares. As I watched her move around, I couldn’t help but smile. 

“You’re beautiful, you know?” 

“I’m not, but thank you for thinking I am,” Emma said with a blush. A smile graced her lips and I vowed to make her smile more. I just didn’t tell her. 

“Why don’t you get dressed, and then join me.” It sounded so seductive and for a moment all I wanted to do was take it back. My heart pounded in my chest for another reason than fear, but I didn’t want to give Emma ideas about where I was at. 

“Good idea.” Emma grinned and then quickly left the room. I closed my eyes, for a moment it wasn’t Pan I was seeing. It was Emma, leaning over me with the towel sliding down her body. 

And when I opened my eyes again, she just entered the room. She was wearing her signature tank top, and some pajama bottoms. She stood awkwardly in my room and I blinked up at her for a moment. 

“Miss Swan, do you need another invitation?” 

She startled and grinned. “You know, I used to hate it when you called me that but you just proved that you can use it as an endearment too.” 

“I did not,” I argued. She rolled her eyes, and then slowly climbed into my bed. She was careful not to touch me, and I had to admit that I appreciated the effort. 

“You need to tell me what you need.” 

I scooted closer to her and then sat up a bit. She didn’t move a muscle. “I need to be held.”

It was bolder than I’d meant to say it, but it was what I wanted –  _ needed  _ – from her. I wanted her to want it too though. Everything had changed with the kiss. And with the nightmare still buzzing in my body I didn’t even know if I was ready for the contact. 

“Okay, tell me how.” 

I wet my lips as I glanced at her. She lay on her back, her arms beside her body as if she was afraid to move and her eyes soft on me. She wanted to give me what I needed but she also wanted to keep her distance.

For me. “I want to put my head on your chest, if you...if you’re okay with that?” 

She simply nodded and raised her arm, an invitation for me to get comfortable. It wasn’t, to start with. I felt like I would snap in half with the tension in my body but she didn’t hold me. She simply let me lie against her.

I put my head on her shoulder, and glanced up at her face to see her eyes closed tightly and a soft smile on her lips. “This okay?” 

I nodded my head. “Okay.” 

It took me a while to feel all my muscles let go of the tension, and slowly but surely I relaxed. Emma’s hand was behind me on the bed, and I blinked as I felt my eyes drift. 

She was silent for a little while longer and if I was honest, her body felt amazing against mine. She sighed. “I could sleep all day.” 

I smiled at her then. “We can’t, though. You have your duties as sheriff and I...well, I’m going to cook up a plan to get Robin Hood out of town.” 

“We were going to do that together.” 

Emma shifted, and then looked down at me with her eyes dark with concern. I smiled. “I’m not saying I’m going to confront him on my own, Emma.”

“You better not.” She took a deep breath and I closed my eyes again. And then she cleared her throat. “I should’ve asked Gold about the way I healed you.” 

I frowned. “Why?” I hadn’t even thought about that in a week, because I was okay. Emma shrugged and I moved with the movement. “Okay, tell me what you’re thinking?”

“Well, you and Gold keep saying all magic comes with a price, and with the potion today...he made me think about what that price might have been?” 

“It can be anything.” I blinked as I tried to think of what Gold had taught me. “Maybe that’s what I can do tomorrow – go ask him what that means for us now.”

“We are paying a lot of prices lately,” Emma murmured. “I hope at least one of them is nice.”

“It all depends on the magic.” 

Emma hummed but didn’t reply. I closed my eyes again, my body slowly getting heavier with sleep and I could feel Emma move beneath me, but before either she or I could say anything, I was fast asleep.

* * *

 

As it turned out Emma didn’t like me going to Gold alone, but she didn’t get the chance to come along with me. 

The bell above the door jingled and I waved my hand, stopping the sound. Gold was standing behind the counter as if he’d been expecting me, and he probably had been. 

“Regina.” 

“I need some information.” I didn’t bother with small talk, and I could see he appreciated that as much as I did. “I’m sure you’ve heard of Emma’s healing powers.”

He inclined his head. “I hear she overloaded you with it, and still you have the scars of your ordeal.” 

“She did the best she could with what little she knew. I want to know what the price of her overdoing it might be.” 

“And you’re coming to me because?” He asked. I rolled my eyes – as if he didn’t know. He was the only person who could actually  _ see  _ the price that had to be paid.

“You know why I’m here. You’ve mentioned a price Emma and I both have to pay...I’d like to know what that price is.” I stepped closer, and he hummed again. It was as if he felt something akin to sympathy for me because he sighed. 

“You’ll find out soon enough. The potion I made last week, it’ll give you more answers than you expect.” He smiled, and then he turned around. “I have something that will give you the answer...but only for one.” 

“One what?” 

My heart skipped a beat when he turned back around with a vial. There was a soft pink liquid in it and he grinned at me in his impish way. 

“You’ve two prices to pay, together. One of them is going to be clear with the use of the potion I made last week, the other – the one for the healing – you can wait...or you can drink this and find out right away.” 

I didn’t trust him one bit, but he seemed genuine enough. “The pink potion will tell me what the price is?” 

“Yes.” He held out the vial. “I give you my word, my promise, that this will not hurt you or anyone you love.” 

He gently pushed the vial into my hand and then turned and walked to the back of the shop. Normally, I’d want to know more about the process. But as I looked down at the vial in my hand, I decided that I didn’t need to know, because I probably wouldn’t even use it. 

I magicked myself home and put the vial in my dresser, hidden under a pile of clothes before I turned and stared at the bed. 

Something between Emma and I had changed but I loved it. I knew I needed to keep it easy and light, but the kiss last night had me craving more. Even if it was just a simple touch, it had made me feel more alive than I’d expected. 

I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where I made myself a cup of tea, and then sat down to enjoy the silence. It was something that I missed with Emma staying with us. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

His voice startled me and my heart skipped a beat when I saw his blue eyes turn to green again. I stood to my feet, quickly putting the kitchen island between us. 

“I thought I told you I didn’t enjoy you walking in here like you own the place.” 

I could feel my body start to tremble as he moved to lean against the counter, not even bothering to get closer. The smirk on his face told me more than what he would. 

“I kind of like it here. It’s warm, and inviting. Normally Emma’s here too.” He glanced around and then smiled at me again. “Where’d you leave her?” 

I wetted my suddenly dry lips and shook my head. “She had to work.” 

He hummed. “Tinker Bell told me that we are soulmates.” 

I froze, my hands curling into fists as I stared at him. Tinker Bell shouldn’t have said anything, and here I was with another forced interaction. I gritted my teeth as he stared at me. 

My voice shook when I spoke. “That was before I even cast the curse.” 

“Still,” he said with a shrug. “I’d like to see if there’s a chance...don’t you?” 

The gears in my head started working overtime when an opportunity presented itself in the form of what they called a date here. He was trying to get me to go out with him, so that he could get to me. The house was protected – nothing could hurt me here. 

“You...you want to go on a date?” 

I could feel a flutter in my stomach as I thought about the potion we’d gotten from Gold. I knew I couldn’t be impulsive about this – I had to talk about this with Emma. 

“Yes.” His green eyes flashed to blue for just a second and I could see something flash in his eyes, before they turned green again. 

I didn’t want to miss this chance to get him, especially not when he was the one offering it up. 

“Then I’ll go with you.”

* * *

 

It was only later that night, when we were both changed into our pajamas and had just laid down, that I had a moment to tell Emma of what had happened. 

“Wait, you agreed to a date?” Emma asked after I’d told her what had happened. 

“I didn’t want him to leave without taking the chance, it didn’t feel right to let it go.” I curled into her side as if we’d done this every night for the past couple of years and she held me close to her. 

“When?” 

“Tomorrow.” I had wanted to get it over as soon as possible, and the fact that he was eager to get me alone had only helped. “We are meeting at the Italian place. I thought I could use the potion on the water...I’ll just need to be there before he is.” 

“I’ll be there too. He won’t know I’m there, but I am not leaving you alone with him.” Emma sounded angry, and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Are you angry?”

“Worried.” She sighed. “I’m worried for you. Because if this is Pan, you’re going to be spending time with him. We don’t know what the potion will do to him and you will need to be in public...what if he hurts you or says something to trigger you?” 

“Then I’ll have to deal with it, Emma,” I murmured as I moved a little closer. I could hear her heart beating against my ear and it made me sleepy, because despite her worry she was calm enough. 

“I want to keep you safe, Regina. I don’t want you hurt or in trouble again, because you’ve been through enough and know it’s not just with Neverland.” She whispered and then she sighed again. “If I could I would take your place.” 

My throat tightened around the emotions, rampaging through me.  “You can’t.” 

“I know. But still.”

I smiled before I pressed my lips to her skin. “You’re amazing and I appreciate the sentiment. I think we’ll be a great team though.” 

“Definitely.”

For the second night in a row, I fell asleep in Emma’s arms and didn’t have nightmares.   
  



	14. Chapter 14

I was on edge all day, thinking about the plan for the date with Robin—Pan. 

Emma had left early that morning, only to come back to bring Henry to school. She said she wanted me to slow it down, even though I wasn’t sure what that even meant. 

She would pick him up again, and she’d be here to help me get ready to get even with Pan, even if it was a simple extract. 

I stood in my kitchen, gazing out but not really seeing anything, when the door opened and Emma walked in.

“Hey.” 

I turned to her and narrowed my eyes. “Hey. I thought you were supposed to be at the station.”

Ever since I had stepped down as mayor I felt disconnected from everything. Emma, on the other hand, had been in the thick of it even when I wasn’t, and even when there was nothing happening. 

“I was, but David wanted me to stay with you today. We need to make sure that everything goes according to plan.” 

“Since when does he have the authority?” 

“He doesn’t, but he’s right. He said he’d take over my shift.” Emma stepped closer and I turned my body toward her. “Regina, we need to make sure that you know this is how you want it to go. You’re taking on a lot of it.” 

I inhaled sharply before I wet my lips. “I know that.” 

I just wasn’t ready to let go until he was gone. 

“Okay,” Emma said as she moved closer still and then wrapped her arms around me. I leaned into her embrace. “You know the moment you leave the driveway I’ll be following you two. You won’t be alone with him for long.” 

I hummed. “Emma, I trust you. I want to do this, and I’m okay with how we planned it.” Even though the fear was slowly starting to thrum in my body, as if it was being injected into my veins. 

She held me tighter and then sighed. Her entire body was tense and I knew that she was as scared as I was. 

“I don’t know if it’s going to work. I don’t trust Gold.” 

“I don’t either, but we don’t have any other choice. This has to be it.

I pulled back just enough to be able to look into her eyes and made sure that she saw that I agreed with her. 

“The potion takes a little to work, right? We can mix it in his drink if you invite him in.” Emma narrowed her eyes as she thought about it. 

I hummed. “You should be the one inviting him in. I’ll make sure I’m still upstairs getting ready. That way you have time to slip him the potion.” 

Emma sighed. “Regardless of how I feel, that really is a good idea.” 

I looked at her then, and glanced at her eyes, before my eyes slipped to her lips and back to her eyes. She smiled, and I smiled. 

I cleared my throat. “I really want to kiss you.” 

“So then what’s stopping you?” 

The smile didn’t leave her lips until mine were pressed to hers gently. I took a moment to get used to the feel of them against mine again, and she didn’t move until I did.

Her lips were soft, and she kissed me back so softly and gently that I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. 

And something switched inside of me. 

I pushed through the barrier of my own fear and deepened the kiss, licking her lips and softly biting at her lower lip. 

She moaned and pulled me in closer, and for a moment all we did was kiss. Our tongues touched and then battled for dominance, and she moaned into my mouth. 

I’d never been a bad kisser — in fact, I had made sure that my kisses could bring a man down. 

Even after everything that happened, Emma made me feel beautiful and sexy by just looking at me and I wanted her to know that I saw that, that I felt it. 

She pushed me backward, and with my mind only focused on the kiss I didn’t realize where we were going. 

Until my back slammed against the wall and she pressed her thigh in between my legs, against my throbbing core. 

And it broke me out of my haze of lust and want. 

I pulled my head back, and pushed against her as all of a sudden, it wasn’t Emma standing in front of me, but Pan. His smirk sent shivers down my spine and I pushed at his shoulders again. 

“Stop!”

Emma stumbled back, her face a mask of horror and I blinked, surprised to feel tears running down my cheeks before I slowly slid down. 

“Oh god, Regina I’m so sorry.” 

She sank down beside me, not touching me. I shook my head, breathing deeply as I tried to calm myself down. 

I closed my eyes, and then pressed the heels of my hands against my forehead. I really had thought that I could push through it, and I was sure that Emma would give me what I needed. 

“No, I’m sorry,” I murmured before I took another deep breath. I opened my eyes and turned toward her. “I shouldn’t have started it, I’m—I’m sorry.”

Emma shook her head, her own eyes filled with tears and red rimmed. 

“No, stop it. You have every right to want—to want, and I shouldn’t have been so rough.” She shook her head again and looked disgusted by her actions. 

I pulled her hand into mine. “I—you make me feel safe and I really wanted to—I wanted  _ you _ .” I blinked away the tears and lifted my other hand to wipe at Emma’s cheek. “I really want you and I wanted to see where it could go. I’m just—I just can’t.” 

“I know.” Emma shook her head again, the disgust still clear on her face and I knew that nothing I could think of would make her feel any better about what happened. 

“It wasn’t you that I saw.” 

“What do you mean?” 

I cleared my throat. “I saw  _ him  _ and not you.” 

She blinked and then nodded. “Okay, good—I mean—I’m glad you didn’t see me while you were freaking.” 

“Indeed.” I almost smiled at the way she said it but I knew she meant well. I got to my feet and then held out my hand. “Come on, let’s finish our coffee and get everything ready for tonight.” 

And so we did. We spent the day planning my outfit, and planning how we would start the ‘date’.

Emma would invite Robin in for a drink because I wouldn't be ready yet and she’d make sure that the potion ended up in his drink. That would leave me with an hour before his shadow was torn from his body and I’d have to cuff it. 

If everything went according to plan, I’d be safe from Pan starting tonight, and it brought a tightness to my chest. 

I’d be safe. 

* * *

I stared at the pink potion in my hand and sighed as, even if I tried, the answers wouldn’t come to me as I wanted them to.

Nothing told me what this would do. I hadn’t found anything in any book I had on potions that would tell me what this pink concoction would do if I took it. 

And that was why I didn’t  _ want  _ to take it. 

Why would Gold be so willing to help? 

I pushed the potion back into the drawer and then pushed it out of my mind. 

Emma was picking up Henry from school, and then dropping him off at the Charmings so that they could keep an eye on him while I was out with Robin. 

My heart skipped a beat at the thought and I turned to my bed, and glanced at the dress Emma and I had picked out. 

It was black and tight, and it would fall just above my knees when I wore it. I’d wear a blazer over it, and I hoped that he would appreciate it enough to not see what was going on. 

Even if that made me feel sick to my stomach. 

The door of the mansion opened and closed as Emma’s footsteps made their way to me without her calling out. 

“Henry is at the loft and he’s pissed that he couldn’t come home today.” 

I turned to look at her. Her cheeks were flushed and she moved toward me only to sit on my bed in front of me. 

“I thought he liked it there.” 

Emma rolled her eyes. “He does. He’s just pissed because he said he wanted to come home tonight.” 

I stepped closer and in between her legs, and without a second thought her arms wrapped around my waist. Something had changed after the kiss that morning and I still didn’t know what to think or expect. What I did know was that I wanted to explore things with Emma. 

“Of course he wanted to come home. He knows something is happening.” 

“He never even said anything about coming home this morning. He was talking about how much fun he had with my—my parents.” 

“Like I said, he knew that something was happening and he wanted to be in the middle of the action.” I leaned my cheek on Emma’s head and took a deep breath. 

Emma hummed. “We’ll pick him up when this is all done and we’ll spend a couple of days together as a family.”

I blinked and inhaled sharply. “A family.” 

Emma pulled back and looked up at me. “Unless you want to just—spend it with him.” 

“Emma,” I breathed before I reached up and cupped her cheeks with both my hands. “I love spending time with you and when this is all over I want you around—please don’t pull back now.” 

“I’m not.” But she looked down and sighed. 

“I’m—I’m still not sure how—how much I feel, but I know I want to find out.” 

“Okay.” She took a few breaths and then pulled me against her again, her face pressing into my stomach. “Regina, why do we feel so strongly so fast?” 

The question stopped me for a second and I cleared my throat. I really didn’t have an answer for her. 

“I suppose what happened to me made it harder to overlook what we already felt?” 

“What about the healing? Could that be a part of why—why I feel like I never want to spend a day apart?” 

I blinked. Tears filled my eyes and I cleared my throat again, hoping to get rid of the lump. 

“It’s a possibility.” I held her close for a second before I pulled back and blinked again, my body tensing at the sight of the dress. “I should start getting ready.” 

Emma gritted her teeth before she nodded and I pulled away completely. She stood to her feet and pushed her hands into her pockets. 

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” 

I hummed as she disappeared, and then turned back to the dress. All I needed was to get him to the town line, and I wouldn’t even have to spend that much time with him. 

Still, my heart pounded in my chest at the thought of it and my skin crawled when I thought of having to let him touch me. 

After a quick shower, I dressed up and put on a light layer of makeup. 

I heard Emma’s voice, and sat down on the bed. My hands were shaking and the thought of Robin—Pan in my house again was enough to make me want to throw up. 

His voice carried through the house, and I flinched. 

“She’s not ready yet? I thought we said seven.”

“She’s almost ready—it takes a while for her. She needs to look her best—be flattered. Want a drink?” 

And then their voices carried away and I took  another moment. I waited ten minutes before I got up and made my way to the stairs. It felt wrong to go out on a date with my rapist, the person who tortured me, and I knew right there that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the restaurant. 

Robin—Pan glanced up from his drink when I walked into the kitchen and he grinned before throwing back what was left of his drink. 

“Finally. You look amazing.” 

He pulled me into his arms before either Emma or I could stop him and I tensed. The feel of his hands on my back made me shudder and he grinned. 

He knew. 

I couldn’t breathe. “Robin.” 

“Let’s go, shall we?” He smirked at Emma before he pulled me toward the front door. “We’re already late, and I want to make up for the time it took you to figure out what you wanted.”

I blinked at his take charge demeanor and then turned to Emma. 

“Don’t wait up, darling,” I murmured and she almost smiled.  _ Almost _ . Because she saw the fear in my eyes, but I was sure that she could also see my determination. 

Robin took my hand and I let him lead me to my car. He couldn’t drive — he hadn’t ever been in a car before and so when he got into the passenger's seat I took a breath. 

I could do this. 

I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway. It didn’t take him much longer to put his hand on my knee. It made me lose focus and I pulled in the wheel before I forced myself to relax. 

“Where’s this place that we are going to?” he asked. 

I glanced at him and then forced a smirk on my lips. “You’ll see. It’s going to be fun.” His hand on my knee moved and I tensed again, my heart and breath stuttering. “Diner first, dear.” 

His hand tightened on my thigh and I wanted to push him away. I  _ wanted _ to use my magic against him to hurt him but I couldn’t. Not  _ yet _ anyway. 

I could see Emma’s Beetle following and I knew she was confused. I wasn’t driving toward the restaurant like we’d promised, and there was no way that I could tell her or let her know anything I was planning to do. 

When we reached the townline, Robin—Pan inhaled. “Stop the car.” 

And I did. He got out quickly, and before I could wonder what his plan was, he had pulled me out of the car and into his arms again. 

“Stop—you can't keep manhandling me and expecting me to be okay with it.” I clenched my jaw. 

There was a look in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. He knew. 

“You are one of the worst actresses I’ve ever met and that’s saying something,” he said and then turned me around and pushed me over the hood of my car. 

I couldn’t breathe, as he held my arm against my back and leaned over me with his body.  _ Robin’s  _ body. 

“What are you talking about?” 

I could feel my magic coming to the surface and he grinned at me as he pushed his pelvis against me. I gasped. 

“You know who I am, don’t you? And you think you are stronger than me? Better than me?” 

“I kn—”

He pushed his entire weight onto me and I exhaled, not able to inhale as he crushed me. I gasped, and then again. 

“You’re nothing but a weak shell of who you used to be—I broke you and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from doing more damage.”

I grunted, my heartbeat rushing into my ear and I snapped. 

My anger flared, and my magic with it as I pushed against him. He stumbled back, but was quick and grabbed me again. 

“You forget who I was, who I am,” I growled and he simply smirked at me again. “I still have my strength, you  _ didn’t  _ break me.” 

It was as much for him as it was for me as I pushed against him, my anger giving me the strength that I needed to call forth my magic. 

“You are broken.” 

For a moment I stared at him and then at the town line. I knew if I pushed now, I’d go over with him and that meant that I might not be able to get back into town. 

It gave me pause, but only for a second. 

“I  _ was _ , but I’m healing.” And then I pushed, my magic adding to my strength. His body stumbled back and he pulled me with him.

The timing was perfect. 

The shadow came out of Robin’s body with a soundless scream. Robin stumbled back, his arm tight around my waist and I grunted as I had no choice but to follow him. 

Over the town line.    
  



	15. Chapter 15

My stomach heaved when the magic was pulled from me, and Robin didn’t seem to feel any better.

I stumbled back and made sure there was as much distance between us as I could, only to realize I still had to cuff him.

But Robin didn’t move toward me—if anything he moved away.

“What is happening?”

His voice was gruff and low, unlike anything I’ve heard from him in the past couple of weeks. I wondered if, because Pan had possessed him, his voice had been different too.

“There’s no magic here.”

He stumbled closer and I tensed. I didn’t want him near me, even though I knew that Pan was gone now.

“I have to go home.” He sounded panicked and I looked up in time to see him rub his face. He sank down in the middle of the street and I swallowed thickly.

“We’ll find a way to get you home,” I replied and he hummed. I stepped back again and turned to the town line.

Or at least, where the town line was supposed to be.

All I saw was a single road and lots of trees. My car was gone and so was the sign that said _Welcome to Storybrooke_.

If Emma was on the other side, I couldn’t see or hear her.

That meant I was alone with Robin.

“What’s going on?” he asked after a moment and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at him.

What I wanted was to get away from him as soon as possible, but I knew that I couldn’t just let him sit there while I walked away.

It would be so easy too.

I’d be able to leave everything — including magic — behind and live a _normal_ life. But there were two things missing, and I didn’t want to leave either of them behind.

“You were—you were possessed and ended up over the town line with me in a fight.” I swallowed thickly before I turned away from him. The look of him made me nauseous. “Because there’s no magic here—the magic used to possess you doesn’t work over the line and that means that we successfully exorcised you.”

“Who is we? And how did we even get to a land without magic?”

He stood to his feet and I stumbled back, clearing my throat to get rid of the lump. 

“What is the last thing you remember?” I asked instead of giving him an answer and he shrugged, then kicked at the road.

“I remember trying to get you out of that cave. I remember fighting with Peter Pan.” He shook his head. “And then I remember being pushed—with magic I might add—by—” he narrowed his eyes at me and clenched his jaw. “—by the Evil Queen.”

He stepped toward me and then stopped, shook his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose before he turned his back on me.

I was grateful for the way he seemed to reject me.

“You tried to save me, in Neverland. You helped the Charmings.” I narrowed my eyes as I tried to figure out this turn of events. “How is it that only now you realize who I am?”

“I—they never told me it was _you_. They said it was Regina. The mother of the little boy that ran to—wait, his other mother?”

“Emma is his biological mother.”

“Jesus. Well, get us back in town and get me back to my son.” Robin raised a brow and looked at me expectantly. I shook my head and turned back toward where the townline should be. “Don’t you—you don’t know how?”

“Listen, everything is different now that we’ve crossed realms and the curse has been broken. There’s no way of telling how to get back.”

I clenched my jaw and then widened my eyes as something suddenly occurred to me.

“What?”

I ignored him, and patted my pockets. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt my phone in my blazer pocket. After slipping it out, I dialed Emma’s number.

Hers was the only one I knew.

“Regina! I can see you, I’ll find a way to get you guys back over the line okay? Don’t worry—I’ll go and ask Gold—”

“Emma, slow down,” I breathed and she stuttered to a halt. “We need to be able to figure this out without Gold.”

Emma was silent for a while and I wished I could see her. My chest tightened and I pulled in a breath.

“Regina, I’m standing right in front of you, just—I’ll find a way but I need help. And you can’t help me because you’re on the other side.”

“I just—I don’t _want_ to owe Gold even more than we already do, Emma.”

Emma sighed and again, I wished I could see her.

“What were you thinking, going over the line with him without knowing what would happen?”

“He had me pinned to the hood of my car—”

“ _What_?” Emma’s anger was palpable and for a second I was worried that she’d step over the town line just to hurt someone.

“Emma,” I called her back and she growled. “I couldn’t let him break me any more. There’s nothing left to break but I _want_ to start healing. I pushed him, but he grabbed me and I didn’t have a choice.”

“How are we going to figure out—how are we getting you back over that town line?”

It was a split second, but I looked up and actually saw a hand reaching out over the townline.

“Emma?”

“Can you see my hand?”

“Yes,” I said as I reached for her hand. “I’m not even sure if this is how it works.”

But when I took her hand, I saw her. She smiled at me and pulled me toward her, wrapping her arms around me in one fluid movement.

The impact of the magic returning to me was hard, and I gasped as my stomach heaved. I turned in Emma’s arms, and she frowned worriedly.

“What’s happening?”

We hadn’t left the town like this together before, and so she didn’t know that the magic being pulled out of you that abruptly, and then pushed back when I got back, hurt and was nauseating.

After my stomach had settled, I blinked away the tears and wiped at my cheeks.

“It’s hard on a body, all the changes into the real world. And back is the same,” I choked out as I took a couple of deep breaths.

I glanced over at Robin, and sighed.

Emma followed my gaze. “I’ll get him back. You go to your car. I think you should go home, I’ll bring him to the diner.”

“But—” I started, but she shook her head.

“It’s fine. I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve dropped him off and we’ll talk about what to do. Go, please?”

I blinked and then sighed. I wanted her to come with me, but I knew there was more to do and she just wanted to make sure that Robin was okay.

“Okay.”

* * *

 

I came home to an empty place and kicked off my heels. Everything seemed wrong, but at least Pan wasn’t going to come back.

Pan was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief and was surprised to feel tears sliding down my cheeks.

Pan was gone.

I wiped at the tears and smiled as I made my way up the stairs and into my room.

 _Pan_ was _gone_.

I chuckled.

I quickly stepped out of my dress and into the bathroom, wearing only my panties and bra.

I turned on the shower and when it was steaming, I stepped under the hot stream of water.

Pan was gone and I took a deep, steadying breath. For the first time in _weeks_ I was able to breathe, and I put a steadying hand against the wall when a wave of dizziness swept over me.

I lost track of time, but when I heard the front door open and close, I turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my body.

“Regina?”

“I’m up here,” I called out to Emma and then made my way into my bedroom, using a second towel to dry my hair.

Before she appeared in the doorway I had put on underwear and one of her tank tops. She grinned at me and then closed the distance between us.

She wrapped her arms around me and sighed.

“I situated Robin at the B and B—told him I’d look into sending him back home,” she breathed and it sounded so much like relief that I pulled back a little.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I thought I couldn’t get you back when I saw you go over the town line. I didn’t know how to make it happen and I thought I’d really have to get Gold to help.”

“But you worked it out.”

“I did. _We_ did, but I was terrified of having to leave my parents.” She sighed again and then smiled at me. “You know, if I hadn’t been able to get you back, I’d have gotten Henry and we’d have gone to live to Boston or something.”

I blinked in surprise and then pulled back even more, staring at her. “Really?”

She huffed. “Of course.”

I wondered on it for a moment and she smiled again, and then surprised me again by leaning in and kissing me. She cupped my cheeks and pulled me closer and all I could do was wrap my arms around her waist and hold on tightly.

She didn’t deepen the kiss even though we were pressed together as if there was no other warily we could breathe. She simply kissed me, and held me.

And then she pulled back.

“We should get ready to go to sleep—I want this whole thing fixed tomorrow and that means we’ll have to be ready to—”

“—I think I know how to get him back to Neverland.”

Emma raised an eyebrow and her grip on me tightened for a split second. “How?”

“Captain Hook. He was talking about going back to make sure the Lost Boys are taken care of.” I shook my head—I had to admit that I didn’t even remember when I heard that. “He hasn’t left yet.”

“Oh, so all I have to do is book Robin a cabin on the Jolly Roger?” Emma hummed and I inclined my head. “Well, That should be easy enough.”

“You’re right, though. We should go to bed.” I glanced at my bed and then at Emma. “Mine, preferably.”

Emma smirked. “Well, of course.”

* * *

 

The next day, Emma made sure that Robin Hood was set to leave town with Captain Hook.

It was something that I could’ve done. But Emma wanted to help me—take some of the load off of me after everything that had happened.

She came back to the mansion, and I was ready to give her a hug and maybe, maybe even more. But then I saw that she wasn’t alone.

Henry, my sweet little boy, followed Emma into the kitchen and then moved around her to run into my arms. His body was warm against mine and his head fit perfectly against my shoulder.

“Hey mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart.”

I held him tight and then breathed in deeply. It had been a while since we had actually been able to hug and enjoy it.

“Grandma said she wanted to get back to teaching, maybe she’ll start teaching me again.”

I hummed as I kept on holding him and Emma smiled at us before she made her way out of the kitchen. I appreciated that she wanted to give us time but—

“Emma, come back here and join us,” I called out and Henry pulled back to smile at me, and then he curled back into me.

“You sure?” Emma asked as she made her way back. I raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes before she wrapped her arms around me from behind.

“Your mother is going back to teaching?” I asked Emma after a moment and she shrugged. “Henry is staying here?” I tried again and this time Emma hummed.

“I will never keep him away from you again.”

“Henry is right here,” Henry said and I chuckled and pressed a kiss to his head. He pulled back and stepped out of the embrace, watching Emma and me for a moment before he nodded his head.

As if he had decided something.

“What is it, Kid?” Emma asked and he smiled at her.

“I knew you guys would end up together eventually.” He grinned at me then and I frowned at him, confusion making its way around my body.

“What?”

“I don’t know—it was a feeling. But you’re happy together?” He asked and Emma hummed.

“I think it’s too soon to have you butt in with your happiness speech—just like it's too soon to have Mary Margaret know about any of this.”

I looked up at Emma. “I think that with everything that happened, we have a lot to figure out. Right now,” I said, glancing back at Henry, “right now we are still getting used to this new life, this _after_.”

“And I don’t think you should focus on what happens between us—unless we tell you,” Emma added and I inclined my head in agreement.

“But—” Henry started.

Emma interjected. “—but nothing, Henry. I love you, but this is personal and something that doesn’t concern you yet. The only thing that’s going to change right now is the fact that I’m staying here until your mom kicks me out.”

I glanced up at her again, turning to face her. “Really?”

“Um—” Emma blinked and then shrugged her shoulders. “I know we haven’t talked about it but I kind of don’t want you to be alone—when you have your nightmares.

I watched her for a long moment. She smiled at me, softly and I could see the nerves in the shaking of the corner of her mouth.

“You’re always welcome here, Emma.”

The smile widened. “Perfect. Now, do you guys want to go say goodbye to Robin and Killian?”

I glanced at Henry who nodded before I turned back to Emma. “Alright.”

And so we made our way to the docks, just in time too. Henry and Emma walked over to Captain Hook while I made my way to Robin.

“I hear I have a lot to apologize for,” he said the moment I was close enough. “I scared you, and taunted you enough.”

“That wasn’t you.” I knew it wasn’t and he knew it, but still my body trembled when he stepped closer and my hands still reached out to stop him. “Please. I know it wasn’t you—I really do.”

He glanced at me and then stepped back. “I get it.”

“Thank you, for apologizing for something you didn’t actually do.” I stepped back and he smiled, inclined his head and then turned around and made his way to the ship.Henry and Emma joined me, and the three of us watched as everyone boarded and then, as the Jolly Roger pushed off of the dock.

 

“So, in the end we did win?” Emma asked and Henry chuckled. “Well?”

“We won, Ma.”

I glanced at him and then at Emma. “We won.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it lovelies. It was a long journey and it took me a while because of some sort of writers block, but this is the end! 
> 
> Check out my other stories, if you want more of my writing and don’t forget to tell me what you think of this! 
> 
> See you on the other stories!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken [Cover Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18667996) by [sincerely_a_fan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerely_a_fan/pseuds/sincerely_a_fan)




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